Table of Contents
Birth Story
Brit Speech
1st Birthday
2nd Birthday
Golan and Spirituality
Upsherin
4th Birthday
5th Birthday
6th Birthday
7th Birthday
Asifat Horim
8th Birthday
9th Birthday
10th Birthday
11th Birthday
Sports League
12th Birthday
Tefilin - Maarat Hamachpela
13th Birthday
Aliya L'Torah
Shabbat Shuva Barmitzva Speech
Papa's Address to Golan
2nd Night Chanukah
Saba and Savta Barmitzvah Trip
14th Birthday
15th Birthday
16th Birthday
Brit Speech
1st Birthday
2nd Birthday
Golan and Spirituality
Upsherin
4th Birthday
5th Birthday
6th Birthday
7th Birthday
Asifat Horim
8th Birthday
9th Birthday
10th Birthday
11th Birthday
Sports League
12th Birthday
Tefilin - Maarat Hamachpela
13th Birthday
Aliya L'Torah
Shabbat Shuva Barmitzva Speech
Papa's Address to Golan
2nd Night Chanukah
Saba and Savta Barmitzvah Trip
14th Birthday
15th Birthday
16th Birthday
Well, yesterday morning I, or I should say perhaps somewhat more accurately we gave birth. I had a lot of support and it was a pretty interesting experience all round.
My contractions started the night before but didn't go very far so I could ignore them. Sunday night though (9th September) we were out for dinner with Daniel's parents and from about 5 or 6pm I could feel them starting. They weren't too terrible and they certainly weren't at consistent intervals, so I knew from my lamaze childbirth preparation classes that they were to be ignored. The last thing you want to do is get to the hospital too early, lets say at 2 cm dilated, as then they either send you home or you could be in for a long night and many days ahead.
So at the restaurant Gong (an Asian restaurant with spicy food, lots of sushi and other yummy things) as I ate I took breaks to walk around to ease the pain. When we left we decided to go back to Daniel's parents in Jerusalem just in case they progressed. I called my doula who said there was no need to go to the hospital just yet so after about a further half an hour we went home.
By this time it was around 10pm and they were getting worse but again, nothing terrible. I was managing to talk on the phone, sit on the ball and walk around the house. It was only when I spotted some blood (not something we had been told to expect from the classes) that I called the doula who suggested, just in case, we go to the hospital.
On the way we called our gyn who kind of poo pooed the idea but said okay, you're in the car now, why not, but it's probably nothing to worry about.
Clearly not an emergency situation, but Daniel nonetheless decided to take his 15 minutes of fame and speed through as many red lights as he could. He had fun with it at least and but the lack of police to stop him and ask for an explanation put a damper on the situation.
By 11pm we were at the hospital. Now, for those of you not familiar with Bikur Holim hospital, it is primarily a haredi (ultra orthodox) hospital. The only reason we "chose" to go there was because that is where my gynecologist practices. We got into the "heder kabalah" a room with about 6 women separated by curtains who are just supposed to be checked out and then either sent home or to a delivery room.
Well, on the night we were there it just so happened there were no delivery rooms available. The nurse told me I was 2 cms dilated, which was quite depressing news for me. She said that it was still a little early, but given that by this stage I was in significant pain (and at least complaining of it pretty vocally) the general consensus was that I should stay.
As we didn't know how long the whole process would take, husband took the decision to not phone the doula and the hospital said they would phone the gynecologist when the time was right. They insisted I lay down and be monitored (again a reason you want to avoid going to the hospital too early as that is the most uncomfortable position). Of course, despite my screams, I wasn't special (everyone was screaming) so I was left on this monitor for way too long.
At some point I had had quite enough and I jumped off. "Get this f*****ing thing off me," I yelled. These are words not often heard at Bikur Holim. "Emma, don't use those words," husband said trying to control the situation. "You go on this stupid thing then" I yelled back...to which he did!!!
The stoic nurse then came over to check the readings. "Erm, you may want to ignore the last 30 seconds of the reading as that was me." Stoic nurse ignored him. He had even used the gel! "You have to go back on it as it wasn't reactive. You need to eat something sweet," she ruled and left me to it. I was not happy.
All of a sudden, as if out of nowhere, this ultra orthodox, very modestly dressed lady in her 60s appeared, with a huge smile on her face. "Would you like the birthing ball?" she asked, smiling. "Yes, yes, please I would," I replied, at this point only wearing a bra and T-shirt. She brought it over for me and placed me on it as I was wondering who else had been on it with their lower half naked. I didn't have that thought for long since moments later I was cracking up. She had me rocking on the ball (with her!) singing kindergarten songs! Daniel was in fits of giggles! But what was really amazing was the fact that this ultra orthodox lady thought nothing of the fact that one of the laws of Judaism does not allow for women to sing in front of men. As she explained to us the following day, she had been told by Rabbi Eliyashiv that it is her task in life to bring simcha (joy) to laboring women.
Following the ball episode which really did ease the pain, she wanted to try another position. This just got funnier. She told me to get on all fours and go "how, how, how" (the Hebrew term for woof). Again we were cracking up with Daniel saying "but you never do that when I ask..."
By this stage my doula was there and we still had a few hours of relative normal pain. Daniel was reading the monitor, "50, 60, 70, 80...it's going up, higher, higher," he yelled like at a horse racing game. "shut up" I yelled back, but then when he found a latex glove and blew it up I couldn't help but smile.
I was very happy to see my doula. And when the pain really started to get bad, I kept yelling "help me, help me; somebody help me." And "this wasn't how it was meant to be. This wasn't the plan." But the one great thing she did was a visualization exercise of me walking Gal (our dog).
I was then measured again to see how "far" I had come. 4 cms. I was ready to kill someone or myself. By then I was begging for the epidural (which I had been reluctant to take for fear of complications G-d forbid). But it takes time. You have to be prepped; blood work has to be taken; you have to go through 3 drips.
It was probably at about 5am my doctor arrived. "Hi Emma," she said chirpily, finally taking me into a room, still just with my bra and T-shirt on and no hospital robe. As if by magic, the anesthesiologist arrived. I have never been so still in my life even though when they do the epidermal it has to be via a contraction.
Within 20 seconds my whole world changed. I felt like I had died and gone to heaven and I didn't even care. This nurse came in and asked, "is this the same woman? how are you feeling?" "I'm doin' good," I replied, sticking my thumb up for extra confirmation. My doctor and I and Daniel and the doula spent the next hour or so just chatting.
But just before that point there was a moment of panic. They couldn't find the heartbeat or the pulse. It took a few minutes. This was the one time Daniel said he felt a little panicked. Not once throughout the pregnancy had he been nervous (I had the whole time) but now he was. After 5 minutes all was well again but during that time I was completely calm. I knew what it could all mean but all I could think was, "I'm not dead and the pain has subsided." It turned out there was no problem with my baby, but with the monitor!
Then it was time to push. The doctor explained how and I followed her instructions. "You're doing great Emma; you're really good at this," she said sincerely. "I've been pushing out diarrhea for 4 weeks; what do you expect?" I replied. After about 3 pushes, "we can see the hair" they said excitedly. "Is the head out?" I asked with naivete. "No, not yet." But it didn't take much longer and I think I felt that bit plop out. And then it was easy and very fast.
"It's a boy" they yelled. They quickly took him over to a table to look at him and I cried a little, as did Daniel who kissed me while looking at the baby. I could just see his hands and feet kicking.
What a wild experience. But more than that, what a complete miracle. I never felt so in love with my husband, so grateful to G-d, so in awe of the miracles of life and the world and so completely overwhelmed and on a high.
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
My contractions started the night before but didn't go very far so I could ignore them. Sunday night though (9th September) we were out for dinner with Daniel's parents and from about 5 or 6pm I could feel them starting. They weren't too terrible and they certainly weren't at consistent intervals, so I knew from my lamaze childbirth preparation classes that they were to be ignored. The last thing you want to do is get to the hospital too early, lets say at 2 cm dilated, as then they either send you home or you could be in for a long night and many days ahead.
So at the restaurant Gong (an Asian restaurant with spicy food, lots of sushi and other yummy things) as I ate I took breaks to walk around to ease the pain. When we left we decided to go back to Daniel's parents in Jerusalem just in case they progressed. I called my doula who said there was no need to go to the hospital just yet so after about a further half an hour we went home.
By this time it was around 10pm and they were getting worse but again, nothing terrible. I was managing to talk on the phone, sit on the ball and walk around the house. It was only when I spotted some blood (not something we had been told to expect from the classes) that I called the doula who suggested, just in case, we go to the hospital.
On the way we called our gyn who kind of poo pooed the idea but said okay, you're in the car now, why not, but it's probably nothing to worry about.
Clearly not an emergency situation, but Daniel nonetheless decided to take his 15 minutes of fame and speed through as many red lights as he could. He had fun with it at least and but the lack of police to stop him and ask for an explanation put a damper on the situation.
By 11pm we were at the hospital. Now, for those of you not familiar with Bikur Holim hospital, it is primarily a haredi (ultra orthodox) hospital. The only reason we "chose" to go there was because that is where my gynecologist practices. We got into the "heder kabalah" a room with about 6 women separated by curtains who are just supposed to be checked out and then either sent home or to a delivery room.
Well, on the night we were there it just so happened there were no delivery rooms available. The nurse told me I was 2 cms dilated, which was quite depressing news for me. She said that it was still a little early, but given that by this stage I was in significant pain (and at least complaining of it pretty vocally) the general consensus was that I should stay.
As we didn't know how long the whole process would take, husband took the decision to not phone the doula and the hospital said they would phone the gynecologist when the time was right. They insisted I lay down and be monitored (again a reason you want to avoid going to the hospital too early as that is the most uncomfortable position). Of course, despite my screams, I wasn't special (everyone was screaming) so I was left on this monitor for way too long.
At some point I had had quite enough and I jumped off. "Get this f*****ing thing off me," I yelled. These are words not often heard at Bikur Holim. "Emma, don't use those words," husband said trying to control the situation. "You go on this stupid thing then" I yelled back...to which he did!!!
The stoic nurse then came over to check the readings. "Erm, you may want to ignore the last 30 seconds of the reading as that was me." Stoic nurse ignored him. He had even used the gel! "You have to go back on it as it wasn't reactive. You need to eat something sweet," she ruled and left me to it. I was not happy.
All of a sudden, as if out of nowhere, this ultra orthodox, very modestly dressed lady in her 60s appeared, with a huge smile on her face. "Would you like the birthing ball?" she asked, smiling. "Yes, yes, please I would," I replied, at this point only wearing a bra and T-shirt. She brought it over for me and placed me on it as I was wondering who else had been on it with their lower half naked. I didn't have that thought for long since moments later I was cracking up. She had me rocking on the ball (with her!) singing kindergarten songs! Daniel was in fits of giggles! But what was really amazing was the fact that this ultra orthodox lady thought nothing of the fact that one of the laws of Judaism does not allow for women to sing in front of men. As she explained to us the following day, she had been told by Rabbi Eliyashiv that it is her task in life to bring simcha (joy) to laboring women.
Following the ball episode which really did ease the pain, she wanted to try another position. This just got funnier. She told me to get on all fours and go "how, how, how" (the Hebrew term for woof). Again we were cracking up with Daniel saying "but you never do that when I ask..."
By this stage my doula was there and we still had a few hours of relative normal pain. Daniel was reading the monitor, "50, 60, 70, 80...it's going up, higher, higher," he yelled like at a horse racing game. "shut up" I yelled back, but then when he found a latex glove and blew it up I couldn't help but smile.
I was very happy to see my doula. And when the pain really started to get bad, I kept yelling "help me, help me; somebody help me." And "this wasn't how it was meant to be. This wasn't the plan." But the one great thing she did was a visualization exercise of me walking Gal (our dog).
I was then measured again to see how "far" I had come. 4 cms. I was ready to kill someone or myself. By then I was begging for the epidural (which I had been reluctant to take for fear of complications G-d forbid). But it takes time. You have to be prepped; blood work has to be taken; you have to go through 3 drips.
It was probably at about 5am my doctor arrived. "Hi Emma," she said chirpily, finally taking me into a room, still just with my bra and T-shirt on and no hospital robe. As if by magic, the anesthesiologist arrived. I have never been so still in my life even though when they do the epidermal it has to be via a contraction.
Within 20 seconds my whole world changed. I felt like I had died and gone to heaven and I didn't even care. This nurse came in and asked, "is this the same woman? how are you feeling?" "I'm doin' good," I replied, sticking my thumb up for extra confirmation. My doctor and I and Daniel and the doula spent the next hour or so just chatting.
But just before that point there was a moment of panic. They couldn't find the heartbeat or the pulse. It took a few minutes. This was the one time Daniel said he felt a little panicked. Not once throughout the pregnancy had he been nervous (I had the whole time) but now he was. After 5 minutes all was well again but during that time I was completely calm. I knew what it could all mean but all I could think was, "I'm not dead and the pain has subsided." It turned out there was no problem with my baby, but with the monitor!
Then it was time to push. The doctor explained how and I followed her instructions. "You're doing great Emma; you're really good at this," she said sincerely. "I've been pushing out diarrhea for 4 weeks; what do you expect?" I replied. After about 3 pushes, "we can see the hair" they said excitedly. "Is the head out?" I asked with naivete. "No, not yet." But it didn't take much longer and I think I felt that bit plop out. And then it was easy and very fast.
"It's a boy" they yelled. They quickly took him over to a table to look at him and I cried a little, as did Daniel who kissed me while looking at the baby. I could just see his hands and feet kicking.
What a wild experience. But more than that, what a complete miracle. I never felt so in love with my husband, so grateful to G-d, so in awe of the miracles of life and the world and so completely overwhelmed and on a high.
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
There are so many who need thanking at this time, so I’ll do my best to keep it brief.
First and foremost, with immense gratitude to Hashem, Whom, for some reason unbeknown to us, decided to make me the kli for this wonderful bracha.
Next to my doctor – perhaps the only doctor I’ve ever met who as well as being thorough and comprehensive, is also a kind, compassionate, and incredibly witty human being. From day one you relaxed us and made us laugh. On that subject I’d also like to thank my doula whose support was insurmountable throughout the pregnancy.
Next to family. To my mother who encouraged and listened to me every day, reminding me to keep my eye on the prize, and to whom through this pregnancy – given her own experiences – I’ve developed a renewed sense of respect and admiration. Thank you for having me!
Saba and Savta – finally I have a name for you after 2 ½ years! Thanks for all the great clothes from America, as well as all the other stuff you bought over these 9 months and thanks for easing Daniel and I into parenthood after we left the hospital. Of course thanks to both sets of parents who have given of themselves so willingly since Golan was born.
To Judy – really the sister I never had – you’ve been like that since the day I met you 3 years ago and it means so much. I think we’ll have to watch your husband doesn’t run off with our baby though! It’s been great sharing this time with you and your family.
To friends. You know who you are and there are just so many of you who have shared the mental anguish I encountered during this pregnancy. But a special mention just has to go to Shoshana, Jeanne, Lynda, Sharon, Rachel, Lisa, Sarah, Suzy and Beverley; you all know what you’ve done for me these last few months and I believe it’s just further strengthened our friendship.
To our amazing neighbors: Lori for kitting me out during the pregnancy; Marci for kitting Golan out in his first 8 days (we had nothing!) and for the great childbirth aftercare which was a real saviour; to the entire community for cooking for us and being so excited and all the kids who made beautiful posters on our door and to the Moskowitzes where Gal now thinks he lives – thank you all.
Last but not least, to Daniel, still my ish chamudot. What can I say? Well, before I get to the mushy stuff, how about taking a flashback on to the reality of your “support” during the pregnancy? Put it like this. It wasn’t quite how I expected a partner to behave to their pregnant wife. Some months were filled with a combination of nausea, diarrhea and heartburn. When reporting these symptoms to Daniel, “oh I feel so sick,” rather than the expected, “I’m so sorry; is there anything I can do to make you feel better?” Daniel would reply, “me too; wanna give me a back rub?” When our doula asked us, “what are the 3 most important things to you and your partner in the birth?” I replied, “health of the baby, health of me, no cesarean.” When posed with the same question, Daniel – without hesitation – responded, “snacks for me…” and when I shot him that glance, he asked, shocked, “well if it’s gonna take hours I’m probably gonna get hungry.”! Then, in our childbirth preparation class when we were being taught some relaxation techniques, we both looked at each other, mouths agape, realizing it was the husbands massaging the wives – well, for 9 months with us it’d been me massaging Daniel after a long evening of filming!
Still, all that aside, thank G-d my physical symptoms weren’t terrible. What was hard for me was the mental anguish. I hated going for any tests or ultrasounds but throughout them all, and all the possible worries we were informed of, Daniel remained, as always my rock. His almost unnerving bitachon in Hashem that we would be blessed with exactly what we have been blessed with, should be bottled. I never in a million years could have imagined a more incredible husband and throughout the process the one phrase that kept coming in to my mind was “he just makes the impossible, possible.” These last few days he’s already proven himself – he’s literally done everything while I’ve been nursing. If anyone wants an informative lecture on diapers and poop colors, he’s the expert. Just one day before I gave birth, he said to me, “well, this is it now; whatever we get, we get, and even if it comes out with tail I’ll love it.” Yes, that’s my ish chaumudot. I look forward to continuing to share everything with you as our bond further deepens (if that’s possible); I’m more and more fascinated, excited and completely in love with you every day.
First and foremost, with immense gratitude to Hashem, Whom, for some reason unbeknown to us, decided to make me the kli for this wonderful bracha.
Next to my doctor – perhaps the only doctor I’ve ever met who as well as being thorough and comprehensive, is also a kind, compassionate, and incredibly witty human being. From day one you relaxed us and made us laugh. On that subject I’d also like to thank my doula whose support was insurmountable throughout the pregnancy.
Next to family. To my mother who encouraged and listened to me every day, reminding me to keep my eye on the prize, and to whom through this pregnancy – given her own experiences – I’ve developed a renewed sense of respect and admiration. Thank you for having me!
Saba and Savta – finally I have a name for you after 2 ½ years! Thanks for all the great clothes from America, as well as all the other stuff you bought over these 9 months and thanks for easing Daniel and I into parenthood after we left the hospital. Of course thanks to both sets of parents who have given of themselves so willingly since Golan was born.
To Judy – really the sister I never had – you’ve been like that since the day I met you 3 years ago and it means so much. I think we’ll have to watch your husband doesn’t run off with our baby though! It’s been great sharing this time with you and your family.
To friends. You know who you are and there are just so many of you who have shared the mental anguish I encountered during this pregnancy. But a special mention just has to go to Shoshana, Jeanne, Lynda, Sharon, Rachel, Lisa, Sarah, Suzy and Beverley; you all know what you’ve done for me these last few months and I believe it’s just further strengthened our friendship.
To our amazing neighbors: Lori for kitting me out during the pregnancy; Marci for kitting Golan out in his first 8 days (we had nothing!) and for the great childbirth aftercare which was a real saviour; to the entire community for cooking for us and being so excited and all the kids who made beautiful posters on our door and to the Moskowitzes where Gal now thinks he lives – thank you all.
Last but not least, to Daniel, still my ish chamudot. What can I say? Well, before I get to the mushy stuff, how about taking a flashback on to the reality of your “support” during the pregnancy? Put it like this. It wasn’t quite how I expected a partner to behave to their pregnant wife. Some months were filled with a combination of nausea, diarrhea and heartburn. When reporting these symptoms to Daniel, “oh I feel so sick,” rather than the expected, “I’m so sorry; is there anything I can do to make you feel better?” Daniel would reply, “me too; wanna give me a back rub?” When our doula asked us, “what are the 3 most important things to you and your partner in the birth?” I replied, “health of the baby, health of me, no cesarean.” When posed with the same question, Daniel – without hesitation – responded, “snacks for me…” and when I shot him that glance, he asked, shocked, “well if it’s gonna take hours I’m probably gonna get hungry.”! Then, in our childbirth preparation class when we were being taught some relaxation techniques, we both looked at each other, mouths agape, realizing it was the husbands massaging the wives – well, for 9 months with us it’d been me massaging Daniel after a long evening of filming!
Still, all that aside, thank G-d my physical symptoms weren’t terrible. What was hard for me was the mental anguish. I hated going for any tests or ultrasounds but throughout them all, and all the possible worries we were informed of, Daniel remained, as always my rock. His almost unnerving bitachon in Hashem that we would be blessed with exactly what we have been blessed with, should be bottled. I never in a million years could have imagined a more incredible husband and throughout the process the one phrase that kept coming in to my mind was “he just makes the impossible, possible.” These last few days he’s already proven himself – he’s literally done everything while I’ve been nursing. If anyone wants an informative lecture on diapers and poop colors, he’s the expert. Just one day before I gave birth, he said to me, “well, this is it now; whatever we get, we get, and even if it comes out with tail I’ll love it.” Yes, that’s my ish chaumudot. I look forward to continuing to share everything with you as our bond further deepens (if that’s possible); I’m more and more fascinated, excited and completely in love with you every day.
Well Golani, it's your birthday. You're a whole year old. You've been out of my tummy and on this planet for a whole 365 days. And on every one of those days -- and most of those nights -- I've been so completely delighted with your presence. Everything about you has made me smile. You're indeed all I prayed for during the pregnancy....and oh so much more.
You were born perfect and have continued to be perfect. You did everything according to the book, but that bit better. True, though your daddy refuses to remember it, you had gas in the beginning which was at times difficult for me because I didn’t know how to adequately comfort you. But other than that, I can honestly say that you've amazed and inspired me many times on a daily basis. Bli ayin hara you've never been sick (except for a cold). You've dealt with your teething so well, in such a strong way. You've been smiling for a really long time and with such gusto. And while you may have taken a little longer than average to reach all the milestones, mummy doesn't care at all, because no matter what you've done or haven't done, you've always been perfectly chilled.
Indeed, everything that has happened in my life I have approached with some level of anxiety. But somehow, since you've come in to our lives, I've been completely relaxed in caring for you. It's as if you've shown me how to chill in life.
From the birth (which really wasn't so bad at all) to nursing, diapering, eating solids and sleeping at nights, you've followed the book, but been one step ahead at all times. Your calm, happy-go-lucky nature is everything I prayed for (and is just like your daddy) and you have also displayed physical and emotional strength too (like daddy). But don't worry Golan, if you do fall or someone does upset you, mummy will be there with a hug and a listening ear, and I’ll still be confident that you'll come out a strong man for it.
Everyone who meets you falls in love with you. We've had comments like "he's so cute, he should be illegal," to "does he ever not smile?" and "that smile just made my day," to name but a few. You give everyone that killer smile perhaps because you want to make others happy (like daddy does), or because you just like to smile. Whatever the reason, don't change it…in fact, I’d be happy if you never changed anything at all.
I've also seen in your daddy the most incredible father. He's been there from the beginning through diapers, night time feeds, organizing everything that has needed to be organized and letting me sleep. He's pretty much never complained about this either. He's not just "helped" me, he's been doing equal amounts, if not more. Without this tower of strength, your first year probably wouldn't have been nearly as wonderful. In all honesty, daddy really pretty much took half a year off work to be there for you, round the clock, caring for you, watching you, photographing and filming you and just being fascinated by you.
I still thank G-d every day for you. We gave you the name Golan Moshe as a testament to strength and popularity. Everyone wants a piece of the Golan Heights...and it's clear that no matter who you meet in life, everyone will want a piece of you too. We also named you Moshe, out of respect and memory for your great grandfather and for Moshe Rabbeinu, our historical leader who went from strength to strength despite his obstacles in life. So no matter what life throws at you Golan Moshe Sass, it is our wish that you make everyone around you happy and that you go from strength to strength in spite of it all.
Golanela…I was on a high the moment you were born for the miracle that you were then, and, to be honest, I've not come down from that high. Likewise I'm sure you won't come down from your namesake – the Golan Heights – either.
You were born perfect and have continued to be perfect. You did everything according to the book, but that bit better. True, though your daddy refuses to remember it, you had gas in the beginning which was at times difficult for me because I didn’t know how to adequately comfort you. But other than that, I can honestly say that you've amazed and inspired me many times on a daily basis. Bli ayin hara you've never been sick (except for a cold). You've dealt with your teething so well, in such a strong way. You've been smiling for a really long time and with such gusto. And while you may have taken a little longer than average to reach all the milestones, mummy doesn't care at all, because no matter what you've done or haven't done, you've always been perfectly chilled.
Indeed, everything that has happened in my life I have approached with some level of anxiety. But somehow, since you've come in to our lives, I've been completely relaxed in caring for you. It's as if you've shown me how to chill in life.
From the birth (which really wasn't so bad at all) to nursing, diapering, eating solids and sleeping at nights, you've followed the book, but been one step ahead at all times. Your calm, happy-go-lucky nature is everything I prayed for (and is just like your daddy) and you have also displayed physical and emotional strength too (like daddy). But don't worry Golan, if you do fall or someone does upset you, mummy will be there with a hug and a listening ear, and I’ll still be confident that you'll come out a strong man for it.
Everyone who meets you falls in love with you. We've had comments like "he's so cute, he should be illegal," to "does he ever not smile?" and "that smile just made my day," to name but a few. You give everyone that killer smile perhaps because you want to make others happy (like daddy does), or because you just like to smile. Whatever the reason, don't change it…in fact, I’d be happy if you never changed anything at all.
I've also seen in your daddy the most incredible father. He's been there from the beginning through diapers, night time feeds, organizing everything that has needed to be organized and letting me sleep. He's pretty much never complained about this either. He's not just "helped" me, he's been doing equal amounts, if not more. Without this tower of strength, your first year probably wouldn't have been nearly as wonderful. In all honesty, daddy really pretty much took half a year off work to be there for you, round the clock, caring for you, watching you, photographing and filming you and just being fascinated by you.
I still thank G-d every day for you. We gave you the name Golan Moshe as a testament to strength and popularity. Everyone wants a piece of the Golan Heights...and it's clear that no matter who you meet in life, everyone will want a piece of you too. We also named you Moshe, out of respect and memory for your great grandfather and for Moshe Rabbeinu, our historical leader who went from strength to strength despite his obstacles in life. So no matter what life throws at you Golan Moshe Sass, it is our wish that you make everyone around you happy and that you go from strength to strength in spite of it all.
Golanela…I was on a high the moment you were born for the miracle that you were then, and, to be honest, I've not come down from that high. Likewise I'm sure you won't come down from your namesake – the Golan Heights – either.
Golan Moshe Sass, I really can’t believe that you are already two (even though if anyone asks you if you’re two, you outright say “no.”). You’ve only been in our lives for such a short time, yet you’ve given us a disproportionate amount of joy and delight. When you were born I was literally overcome with awe and gratitude that your daddy and I had been blessed with such an incredibly perfect being; I was filled with wonderment. Today, 2 years on, I can honestly say that those feelings haven’t subsided for even a single moment and I will be eternally grateful to Hashem for the incredible gift of you.
But I said all that last year so what’s been new this year? What have we learned from cute little Golanela this past year that we didn’t know at your first birthday? That indeed it is possible for a joyous little baby to get even cuter as he becomes a toddler; that you continue to make parenting the easiest and most fulfilling jobs we’ve both ever been privileged to have; that every stage of your development brings more amazement and gratitude (like how do you know how to be a toddler; who taught you?); that you continue to be such an individual doing everything at your own pace and not following the crowd; that it is possible for your hair to get even more clumpy on a day-to-day basis and so the list goes on.
Golan, still today, your daddy and I are so stunned at how you do everything so perfectly and with such ease. Sometimes I feel guilty that you are trying to make us happy all the time, but then I realize that’s just the way you are; it’s your nature. You sleep well (BH), hardly get sick (BH), play really great with other kids, and generally have a really mellow nature. You love the water, whether you are throwing it on the floor from Gal’s bowl or swimming in it. And talking of Gal, while you sometimes start up with him, deep down we know you love him being around because as soon as he joins you in the morning, you run over to give him one of your own unique Golan’ddles. Just try to make nice a bit more, rather than whacking him with your broom or spatula.
You’ve always done well at the 4 pre-schools you’ve been in so far and are getting really good at drawings and stickers; your hand-eye coordination can’t be matched. But I’ve never cared about you being the best in school or getting into the Guinness Book of Records for having the best skills. What’s really important to me is your nature. You have such a sweet personality (with a bit of an edge it’s true); the affectionate way you live your life is truly infectious. You cuddle up to us for no particular reason, at any random time of the day, which makes us feel like we are getting a taste of heaven on toast. You love being with other kids and generally share really well. You make everyone smile, have a perfect giggle and shower us with the most amazing, gentle, cute, little kisses when you agree to (unless you decide “no,” which is okay too).
About 6 months ago, someone asked your daddy, when he saw how crazy about you he was, “what is the best thing about Golani?” Daddy paused a moment and replied, “probably how he makes everyone smile; how he turns someone’s bad day, in to a good one.” Just like daddy. It’s a wonderful trait; don’t trade it for gummy bears or bamba, ever.
The other thing we’ve both noticed about you, since the moment you were born, is how completely calm I am around you. Although I for sure have anxiety in my life about most things, with you pretty much nothing phases me. It’s like you’re the antidote to my fears and I thank you for that.
Two years ago you entered our lives at such a spiritually uplifting time in the Jewish calendar. It was two days before the end of Elul – the month which is known for the acronym Ani L’dodi V’dodi Li – I am for my beloved and my beloved is for me. The commentators tell us that this refers to our relationship with G-d or our spouse. I think in your case, it signifies our (your daddy and my) relationship with you. We are for you and you are for us. You came to tell us that during your time of introspection, chodesh Elul, I am here. I am here to bring you into the next month, the month full of gladness. Even in a time of intense cheshbon nefesh, I will be here to make you giggle ‘til you can’t breathe anymore.
Golan Moshe Sass, it is my bracha to you that you continue to be just the way you are; that life doesn’t throw too many challenges at you; that you always feel you can turn to mummy and daddy in every situation (yes, with tears when the situation calls for us, despite what daddy and the other Sass’s say); that you are kind and generous to your friends and that you take all the goodness from the world and instill it with a little bit of Golanela’s neshama.
But I said all that last year so what’s been new this year? What have we learned from cute little Golanela this past year that we didn’t know at your first birthday? That indeed it is possible for a joyous little baby to get even cuter as he becomes a toddler; that you continue to make parenting the easiest and most fulfilling jobs we’ve both ever been privileged to have; that every stage of your development brings more amazement and gratitude (like how do you know how to be a toddler; who taught you?); that you continue to be such an individual doing everything at your own pace and not following the crowd; that it is possible for your hair to get even more clumpy on a day-to-day basis and so the list goes on.
Golan, still today, your daddy and I are so stunned at how you do everything so perfectly and with such ease. Sometimes I feel guilty that you are trying to make us happy all the time, but then I realize that’s just the way you are; it’s your nature. You sleep well (BH), hardly get sick (BH), play really great with other kids, and generally have a really mellow nature. You love the water, whether you are throwing it on the floor from Gal’s bowl or swimming in it. And talking of Gal, while you sometimes start up with him, deep down we know you love him being around because as soon as he joins you in the morning, you run over to give him one of your own unique Golan’ddles. Just try to make nice a bit more, rather than whacking him with your broom or spatula.
You’ve always done well at the 4 pre-schools you’ve been in so far and are getting really good at drawings and stickers; your hand-eye coordination can’t be matched. But I’ve never cared about you being the best in school or getting into the Guinness Book of Records for having the best skills. What’s really important to me is your nature. You have such a sweet personality (with a bit of an edge it’s true); the affectionate way you live your life is truly infectious. You cuddle up to us for no particular reason, at any random time of the day, which makes us feel like we are getting a taste of heaven on toast. You love being with other kids and generally share really well. You make everyone smile, have a perfect giggle and shower us with the most amazing, gentle, cute, little kisses when you agree to (unless you decide “no,” which is okay too).
About 6 months ago, someone asked your daddy, when he saw how crazy about you he was, “what is the best thing about Golani?” Daddy paused a moment and replied, “probably how he makes everyone smile; how he turns someone’s bad day, in to a good one.” Just like daddy. It’s a wonderful trait; don’t trade it for gummy bears or bamba, ever.
The other thing we’ve both noticed about you, since the moment you were born, is how completely calm I am around you. Although I for sure have anxiety in my life about most things, with you pretty much nothing phases me. It’s like you’re the antidote to my fears and I thank you for that.
Two years ago you entered our lives at such a spiritually uplifting time in the Jewish calendar. It was two days before the end of Elul – the month which is known for the acronym Ani L’dodi V’dodi Li – I am for my beloved and my beloved is for me. The commentators tell us that this refers to our relationship with G-d or our spouse. I think in your case, it signifies our (your daddy and my) relationship with you. We are for you and you are for us. You came to tell us that during your time of introspection, chodesh Elul, I am here. I am here to bring you into the next month, the month full of gladness. Even in a time of intense cheshbon nefesh, I will be here to make you giggle ‘til you can’t breathe anymore.
Golan Moshe Sass, it is my bracha to you that you continue to be just the way you are; that life doesn’t throw too many challenges at you; that you always feel you can turn to mummy and daddy in every situation (yes, with tears when the situation calls for us, despite what daddy and the other Sass’s say); that you are kind and generous to your friends and that you take all the goodness from the world and instill it with a little bit of Golanela’s neshama.
A Spiritual Moment at Work
I saw from my FB homepage that Aryeh Ben David needed people to write about a “spiritual moment they had experienced at work.” Well, for the last two years, I have not been working and so couldn’t comply. Or so I initially thought.
I was blessed two years ago with the most incredible gift from G-d. Literally. For many complicated reasons, I had long given up any dream of becoming a mother. But no matter, since I never particularly wanted to take on the role either.
It was a very stressful pregnancy so I couldn’t get excited. At various points doctors were concerned about the possibility of a “fetal abnormality,” despite all the tests we’d done to prove otherwise. I was a wreck and couldn’t plan for the baby. Neither my husband nor I had ever changed a diaper and a “onesie” was about as familiar to us as a symbol in the Chinese alphabet. Thankfully, while my husband didn’t share my pessimism and fears, he completely respected my wishes throughout the pregnancy and we neither planned nor purchased anything for a new arrival.
Yet somewhere, deep, deep, deep in the lower echelons of my heart, nay my neshama, this was something I desperately wanted and was just too terrified to engage. I davened and learnt Pirke Avot fervently, daily, reading perakim of Tehilim I didn’t understand. I cried as I beseeched Hashem to bless me with a healthy child since I knew the gate of tears would never be slammed in my face. I was nicer to people. I was more patient. I stopped in the street and engaged neighbors I usually ignored while walking my dog. I spoke less and listened more. I was mellower on the outside as my insides broke down in fear and total vulnerability before my Creator.
Up until the last moment of the pregnancy – while I was in labor and the doctor couldn’t find the heartbeat – I never imagined I would be a mother. It couldn’t be.
But it was. And Golan Moshe Sass was born perfectly healthy in every way through the angels and G-d in heaven 2 days before Rosh Hashanah 5768.
But that’s not my spiritual moment. The “spiritual moment I have experienced at work,” happens to me every moment of every single day since this neshama was entrusted to my husband and me. It comes as loud and clear 2 years later, every time I go into the store and buy a package of diapers. And it hasn’t quieted at all.
It happened when he was a month old and screamed from gas and my singing soothed him. To most people I’m tone deaf; to him I have the voice of Celine Dion. The “spiritual moment I’m experiencing while at work,” happens still now, many millions of times a day when I watch him blink; when he rubs his nose as he’s getting tired; when he arches his back so I can pull up his pants; when he giggles; when he says “ba-bye”; when my husband plays ball with him and he throws like it’s the most natural thing in the world. It happens every evening when he stands up in the bath and instinctively pees. How do all those bodily functions work? How does he know how to put himself to sleep and to wake up every morning thank G-d? How does he automatically close his eyes when he sneezes? And how has he been able to make mothering the easiest, most stress-free, beautiful experience for someone who has lived nearly four decades of her life in the most opposite way?
This is my work. For as long as I can nurture this miracle and blessing from Hashem on a daily basis I will. I will never see it as “lesser” – either spiritually or intellectually – than any other work.
If all this isn’t considered “spiritual moments at work,” then I clearly didn’t understand Aryeh’s instructions and take this opportunity to humbly apologize.
I saw from my FB homepage that Aryeh Ben David needed people to write about a “spiritual moment they had experienced at work.” Well, for the last two years, I have not been working and so couldn’t comply. Or so I initially thought.
I was blessed two years ago with the most incredible gift from G-d. Literally. For many complicated reasons, I had long given up any dream of becoming a mother. But no matter, since I never particularly wanted to take on the role either.
It was a very stressful pregnancy so I couldn’t get excited. At various points doctors were concerned about the possibility of a “fetal abnormality,” despite all the tests we’d done to prove otherwise. I was a wreck and couldn’t plan for the baby. Neither my husband nor I had ever changed a diaper and a “onesie” was about as familiar to us as a symbol in the Chinese alphabet. Thankfully, while my husband didn’t share my pessimism and fears, he completely respected my wishes throughout the pregnancy and we neither planned nor purchased anything for a new arrival.
Yet somewhere, deep, deep, deep in the lower echelons of my heart, nay my neshama, this was something I desperately wanted and was just too terrified to engage. I davened and learnt Pirke Avot fervently, daily, reading perakim of Tehilim I didn’t understand. I cried as I beseeched Hashem to bless me with a healthy child since I knew the gate of tears would never be slammed in my face. I was nicer to people. I was more patient. I stopped in the street and engaged neighbors I usually ignored while walking my dog. I spoke less and listened more. I was mellower on the outside as my insides broke down in fear and total vulnerability before my Creator.
Up until the last moment of the pregnancy – while I was in labor and the doctor couldn’t find the heartbeat – I never imagined I would be a mother. It couldn’t be.
But it was. And Golan Moshe Sass was born perfectly healthy in every way through the angels and G-d in heaven 2 days before Rosh Hashanah 5768.
But that’s not my spiritual moment. The “spiritual moment I have experienced at work,” happens to me every moment of every single day since this neshama was entrusted to my husband and me. It comes as loud and clear 2 years later, every time I go into the store and buy a package of diapers. And it hasn’t quieted at all.
It happened when he was a month old and screamed from gas and my singing soothed him. To most people I’m tone deaf; to him I have the voice of Celine Dion. The “spiritual moment I’m experiencing while at work,” happens still now, many millions of times a day when I watch him blink; when he rubs his nose as he’s getting tired; when he arches his back so I can pull up his pants; when he giggles; when he says “ba-bye”; when my husband plays ball with him and he throws like it’s the most natural thing in the world. It happens every evening when he stands up in the bath and instinctively pees. How do all those bodily functions work? How does he know how to put himself to sleep and to wake up every morning thank G-d? How does he automatically close his eyes when he sneezes? And how has he been able to make mothering the easiest, most stress-free, beautiful experience for someone who has lived nearly four decades of her life in the most opposite way?
This is my work. For as long as I can nurture this miracle and blessing from Hashem on a daily basis I will. I will never see it as “lesser” – either spiritually or intellectually – than any other work.
If all this isn’t considered “spiritual moments at work,” then I clearly didn’t understand Aryeh’s instructions and take this opportunity to humbly apologize.
An upsherin is not a custom of either of our families; yet we chose to take this on for our first-born child. As soon as the miracle of Golan Moshe embraced our lives I knew I wanted to make his time on this earth as spectacular and precious as possible; an upsherin thus seemed the most natural path to take – another excuse for a simcha.
But what does it mean and why do Jews around the world do it? The actual word upsherin means “cut off” in Yiddish and it was R Chaim Vital (a student of the Arizal) who first mentioned it in the sefer, Shaar Hakavonot.
The hair is cut at three to signify a transition from babyhood to boyhood. There are many developments in a child’s life at this point and the Hebrew word sapar meaning haircut also means boundary, implying that there are now new boundaries for the child as what was acceptable for him as a baby, isn’t anymore as a young boy. Seeing a baby move into childhood is another cause for celebration; it is a joy that he is developing at the right pace and a miracle for which we should be thankful.
Then there’s the idea of three connected to the mitzvah of orlah. A tree’s fruits only become permissible to you after three years (until that time they are orlah – off limits) like the child’s hair. This is because of the connection the Torah makes of a person to a tree. Like a tree, a person needs 4 basic elements for survival: soil (the home); water, air and fire (the sun). The tree has numerous roots and we pray that they grow in the right direction at the right time in tune with the seasons.
There is much more to say about the custom of the upsherin but that doesn’t interest me so much; you can look it up on line later if you choose. What interests me most is Golan Moshe Sass. Such a strong name for such a gentle boy. From the moment he was born until today he has continued to fascinate me. I love everything about him and cannot believe he never causes me to worry at all. He is simply stunning to look at and a joy to be with. He has the most infectious giggle, a contagious smile and such a mellow nature. Everyone who spends time with him cannot believe how chilled he is. You see when you’re around him that nothing bothers him, so no matter how highly strung you are, nothing will bother you either. He truly is a gift.
How it’s Done
The first cut is taken from the front of the head, where he will later place his tefillin upon becoming Bar Mitzvah. This is followed by a bracha for Torah success and the beginning of learning the Aleph Beit. We also teach the child the verse: "The Torah was commanded to us through Moses, an inheritance for all the Jewish people" (Deut. 33:4). These are the first words a Jewish child should be taught to say, since this communicates how each Jew has a unique, personal relationship with the Torah.
But what does it mean and why do Jews around the world do it? The actual word upsherin means “cut off” in Yiddish and it was R Chaim Vital (a student of the Arizal) who first mentioned it in the sefer, Shaar Hakavonot.
The hair is cut at three to signify a transition from babyhood to boyhood. There are many developments in a child’s life at this point and the Hebrew word sapar meaning haircut also means boundary, implying that there are now new boundaries for the child as what was acceptable for him as a baby, isn’t anymore as a young boy. Seeing a baby move into childhood is another cause for celebration; it is a joy that he is developing at the right pace and a miracle for which we should be thankful.
Then there’s the idea of three connected to the mitzvah of orlah. A tree’s fruits only become permissible to you after three years (until that time they are orlah – off limits) like the child’s hair. This is because of the connection the Torah makes of a person to a tree. Like a tree, a person needs 4 basic elements for survival: soil (the home); water, air and fire (the sun). The tree has numerous roots and we pray that they grow in the right direction at the right time in tune with the seasons.
There is much more to say about the custom of the upsherin but that doesn’t interest me so much; you can look it up on line later if you choose. What interests me most is Golan Moshe Sass. Such a strong name for such a gentle boy. From the moment he was born until today he has continued to fascinate me. I love everything about him and cannot believe he never causes me to worry at all. He is simply stunning to look at and a joy to be with. He has the most infectious giggle, a contagious smile and such a mellow nature. Everyone who spends time with him cannot believe how chilled he is. You see when you’re around him that nothing bothers him, so no matter how highly strung you are, nothing will bother you either. He truly is a gift.
How it’s Done
The first cut is taken from the front of the head, where he will later place his tefillin upon becoming Bar Mitzvah. This is followed by a bracha for Torah success and the beginning of learning the Aleph Beit. We also teach the child the verse: "The Torah was commanded to us through Moses, an inheritance for all the Jewish people" (Deut. 33:4). These are the first words a Jewish child should be taught to say, since this communicates how each Jew has a unique, personal relationship with the Torah.
Golan Moshe Sass,
Today you are four years old. From the moment you were born, I have been completely fascinated by you. You are sweet, sensitive, warm, kind, thoughtful, cute and fun. I keep wondering when you’re going to stop being cute; I mean, aren’t kids meant to become less cute as they get older? If that’s the case you have broken the rule as your cuteness just seems to increase on a daily basis.
I love how normal you are. I love that you fit into every circle you find yourself in. You had no problem adjusting to life in America for 2 weeks and were completely fine on your first day of new gan, just a few hours after we landed. I never have to worry about you as you seem to be able to just deal with everything.
When your little brother came into the picture, I have to admit, I was a bit worried. Your daddy and I had been so besotted by you from the moment you graced our lives with your presence that I was quite sure you’d take it tough and act out. But from the moment you met little Eitan, all you wanted to do was love and protect him. And you’ve been mummy and daddy’s little helper ever since. And, as you already know, Eitan loves you the most. No matter how excited he’ll be spending time with daddy or me, as soon as you come into the room, he has eyes for no one else.
I’m also so proud of how you and I communicate. I’ve always felt we’ve had a special understanding between us. I try and respect you and I feel you give me the same back. When grandma and papa babysat for you one night and you were used to always staying up til we came home, I made a request of you that you go to bed when grandma says. You did. You didn’t hesitate. You listened, and you went to bed.
Talking of grandma, she and papa are very sorry they can’t be here today because tomorrow they are going on holiday on a big boat. But they send you lots of love and hope you have a very happy birthday and enjoy the Spiderman gift they bought you.
I love how you know exactly what you want. Just at LAX airport when I couldn’t find a juice I thought you might like, you pointed to something quite gross looking. I knew you’d like it though if you said you would and, lo and behold, gross as it was, you drank the whole thing. You know your own mind; it’s truly a great quality to have. Don’t lose it and don’t let others convince you otherwise. Go with your gut and you’ll do just fine in life.
Golan, of course you’re not perfect, no one is. But honestly to me, if there was something close to perfection, it would be you. I love you more and more each day; thank you for choosing me to be your mum.
Today you are four years old. From the moment you were born, I have been completely fascinated by you. You are sweet, sensitive, warm, kind, thoughtful, cute and fun. I keep wondering when you’re going to stop being cute; I mean, aren’t kids meant to become less cute as they get older? If that’s the case you have broken the rule as your cuteness just seems to increase on a daily basis.
I love how normal you are. I love that you fit into every circle you find yourself in. You had no problem adjusting to life in America for 2 weeks and were completely fine on your first day of new gan, just a few hours after we landed. I never have to worry about you as you seem to be able to just deal with everything.
When your little brother came into the picture, I have to admit, I was a bit worried. Your daddy and I had been so besotted by you from the moment you graced our lives with your presence that I was quite sure you’d take it tough and act out. But from the moment you met little Eitan, all you wanted to do was love and protect him. And you’ve been mummy and daddy’s little helper ever since. And, as you already know, Eitan loves you the most. No matter how excited he’ll be spending time with daddy or me, as soon as you come into the room, he has eyes for no one else.
I’m also so proud of how you and I communicate. I’ve always felt we’ve had a special understanding between us. I try and respect you and I feel you give me the same back. When grandma and papa babysat for you one night and you were used to always staying up til we came home, I made a request of you that you go to bed when grandma says. You did. You didn’t hesitate. You listened, and you went to bed.
Talking of grandma, she and papa are very sorry they can’t be here today because tomorrow they are going on holiday on a big boat. But they send you lots of love and hope you have a very happy birthday and enjoy the Spiderman gift they bought you.
I love how you know exactly what you want. Just at LAX airport when I couldn’t find a juice I thought you might like, you pointed to something quite gross looking. I knew you’d like it though if you said you would and, lo and behold, gross as it was, you drank the whole thing. You know your own mind; it’s truly a great quality to have. Don’t lose it and don’t let others convince you otherwise. Go with your gut and you’ll do just fine in life.
Golan, of course you’re not perfect, no one is. But honestly to me, if there was something close to perfection, it would be you. I love you more and more each day; thank you for choosing me to be your mum.
Golan, you are 5 today; such a big boy. I cannot believe you’ve been with us for 5 whole years. It feels like just yesterday I glared at your perfect little newborn face in awe and adoration that miraculous day you graced our lives with your presence. From that day until this, I have never stopped being amazed by how wonderful you are.
You’re a great big brother; a lot of fun; sensitive to other peoples’ needs; affectionate; kind; generous and funny. Even though you’re such a big boy now, you still cuddle as well as any much younger kid; I’m very grateful you never lost that capacity. It’s so much fun putting you to bed, lying with you in your bed as you inch over to cuddle just that little bit more and are never ready for me to leave – I love that about you. And I feel so blessed that, on the odd occasion you choose daddy to put you to bed, you let him go in a minute but with me, you need at least 15. Perhaps it’s because you know how much I like to be in bed, and daddy – as you would say – “not so much.”
You remind me so much of myself in all the good – and odd – ways. But, it seems like you have taken the best of me and left the worst behind. While you have a ton of energy and love to play like any typical 5-year-old boy, you also enjoy nothing more than just sitting in front of the TV, a glass of petel and “only one candy and ze-u,” and an apple in hand, and just chill out. I let you do it because that’s what I want to do after a long day – so why deny you?
The best part of my day is lying with you and daddy in the bed just before you go to sleep. I am on my computer; daddy is on his iPad and you in the middle bargaining for “just one more TV show, pleeeaaaze?”
I love watching you with your friends – especially Eldar – as you seem to have so much fun, with not a care in the world. It’s not a surprise everyone always wants to come play with you; whether it’s bad guys; playmobil; Angry Birds or any of the other great games you have created amongst yourselves. I love how you go to gan with such a joie de vivre, seem to have a great time, but never have anything to tell daddy or I when you come home. It’s as if you’ve just sat there and absorbed it all in your own little world. Not surprisingly your teachers have always adored you. Motek is the word we hear time and again to describe you.
I love how every morning when you get dressed you insist on throwing your pjs as high in the air as possible. I love how you have no interest – at all – in how absolutely stunning you are. After our recent photoshoot I tried to show you just how gorgeous you are, but you just turned to me and said “but I’ve seen that one before” modestly displaying absolutely no interest at all.
I love how – from the moment you were born – you seem to understand me and my needs. You are responsible, caring and don’t like it when anyone is sad. It’s a great trait – don’t lose it.
Now that Eitan is all grown up and going to the gan you used to be in, I watch with pride as you responsibly love taking him there and being the caring big brother that you are. We’re so proud of you and, as you know Eitan loves you more than anyone else in his world.
Golan Moshe Sass, there are so many thousands of things I could say about how much and why I love you, but ultimately I’ll just say this: being your mummy is one of the best tasks I have ever been granted with; you are a true credit to me, daddy, saba, savta, grandma and papa and all of clal yisrael. Thank you.
You’re a great big brother; a lot of fun; sensitive to other peoples’ needs; affectionate; kind; generous and funny. Even though you’re such a big boy now, you still cuddle as well as any much younger kid; I’m very grateful you never lost that capacity. It’s so much fun putting you to bed, lying with you in your bed as you inch over to cuddle just that little bit more and are never ready for me to leave – I love that about you. And I feel so blessed that, on the odd occasion you choose daddy to put you to bed, you let him go in a minute but with me, you need at least 15. Perhaps it’s because you know how much I like to be in bed, and daddy – as you would say – “not so much.”
You remind me so much of myself in all the good – and odd – ways. But, it seems like you have taken the best of me and left the worst behind. While you have a ton of energy and love to play like any typical 5-year-old boy, you also enjoy nothing more than just sitting in front of the TV, a glass of petel and “only one candy and ze-u,” and an apple in hand, and just chill out. I let you do it because that’s what I want to do after a long day – so why deny you?
The best part of my day is lying with you and daddy in the bed just before you go to sleep. I am on my computer; daddy is on his iPad and you in the middle bargaining for “just one more TV show, pleeeaaaze?”
I love watching you with your friends – especially Eldar – as you seem to have so much fun, with not a care in the world. It’s not a surprise everyone always wants to come play with you; whether it’s bad guys; playmobil; Angry Birds or any of the other great games you have created amongst yourselves. I love how you go to gan with such a joie de vivre, seem to have a great time, but never have anything to tell daddy or I when you come home. It’s as if you’ve just sat there and absorbed it all in your own little world. Not surprisingly your teachers have always adored you. Motek is the word we hear time and again to describe you.
I love how every morning when you get dressed you insist on throwing your pjs as high in the air as possible. I love how you have no interest – at all – in how absolutely stunning you are. After our recent photoshoot I tried to show you just how gorgeous you are, but you just turned to me and said “but I’ve seen that one before” modestly displaying absolutely no interest at all.
I love how – from the moment you were born – you seem to understand me and my needs. You are responsible, caring and don’t like it when anyone is sad. It’s a great trait – don’t lose it.
Now that Eitan is all grown up and going to the gan you used to be in, I watch with pride as you responsibly love taking him there and being the caring big brother that you are. We’re so proud of you and, as you know Eitan loves you more than anyone else in his world.
Golan Moshe Sass, there are so many thousands of things I could say about how much and why I love you, but ultimately I’ll just say this: being your mummy is one of the best tasks I have ever been granted with; you are a true credit to me, daddy, saba, savta, grandma and papa and all of clal yisrael. Thank you.
When I was One,
I had just begun.
When I was Two,
I was nearly new.
When I was Three
I was hardly me.
When I was Four,
I was not much more.
When I was Five, I was just alive.
But now I am Six, I'm as clever as clever,
So I think I'll be six now for ever and ever.
Yes, all the above echoes my feelings for you today and ever since the moment you were born – I wish I could bottle it and keep you as you are and have always been “for ever and ever.”
Golan, my sweet, beautiful, wonderful boy, I want to tell you something. Just because today you are 6, which means that six incredulous years have passed since you first graced our lives, it does not mean for a second, that I have forgotten, or that I appreciate any less, the total miracle of you. How can I? Your existence is a constant reminder.
In fact, just yesterday, I was talking to a friend who’d just had a baby and I was recalling the pure joy and astonishment I felt the day you were born. At the miracle you were. Well, let me tell you something else. Six years on, for me at least, not much has changed; you’re still my miracle.
So what does that mean exactly? What is different about you this year, as compared to last year on your birthday? You’ve matured, for sure. You’ve gained a more humorous take on life. And you’ve continued to show how much you care for your little brother. Even though you have moments of just being his big brother and getting irritated by him, you’d give your last cucumber for him in a heartbeat. And for you, that’s saying a lot. You’re dedicated. But really the best thing – for me at least – about this year as opposed to all the other years is that nothing has changed; you are continuing on your sweet, beautiful journey.
You always show love and concern for me and daddy. You care about how we feel and if something hurts us, it’s almost like it hurts you too. Just the other day you told me you wanted to stay in the kids club a little longer so you could tidy up. “I don’t want the man to do it levad” you explained. Beautiful.
You’re getting pretty smart these days too; it’s amazing to see your brain works. One morning you helped get Eitan up and ready but you didn’t get around to doing netilat yadayim. Or so I thought. Turned out – as you explained – “there was no-one to say amen as you were sleeping.” Everything is a consideration for you; and I admire it so much.
Golan, no matter how old you get I’ll never tire of your affection. You waking me up in the middle of a deep sleep (and everyone knows how much I love my sleep) is something that touches me so deep, in a place I hardly ever reach, if at all. It goes straight to my core as it comes directly from yours. It’s beautiful.
But there again, everything about you is beautiful. Both inside and out, those who come into contact with you just enjoy you on so many levels.
Six years on and I’m still completely baffled as to why Hashem chose to bestow the blessing of Golan Moshe Sass onto your daddy and me. But then again, most of the world baffles me so I guess I should just shut up and enjoy it. And I do, truly, with you…every single day a little bit more.
Thank you for being my son.
Postscript
I asked Golan if he liked what I wrote. "Yes," he replied. "How did it make you feel?" I then asked. "Nice," he responded.
I had just begun.
When I was Two,
I was nearly new.
When I was Three
I was hardly me.
When I was Four,
I was not much more.
When I was Five, I was just alive.
But now I am Six, I'm as clever as clever,
So I think I'll be six now for ever and ever.
Yes, all the above echoes my feelings for you today and ever since the moment you were born – I wish I could bottle it and keep you as you are and have always been “for ever and ever.”
Golan, my sweet, beautiful, wonderful boy, I want to tell you something. Just because today you are 6, which means that six incredulous years have passed since you first graced our lives, it does not mean for a second, that I have forgotten, or that I appreciate any less, the total miracle of you. How can I? Your existence is a constant reminder.
In fact, just yesterday, I was talking to a friend who’d just had a baby and I was recalling the pure joy and astonishment I felt the day you were born. At the miracle you were. Well, let me tell you something else. Six years on, for me at least, not much has changed; you’re still my miracle.
So what does that mean exactly? What is different about you this year, as compared to last year on your birthday? You’ve matured, for sure. You’ve gained a more humorous take on life. And you’ve continued to show how much you care for your little brother. Even though you have moments of just being his big brother and getting irritated by him, you’d give your last cucumber for him in a heartbeat. And for you, that’s saying a lot. You’re dedicated. But really the best thing – for me at least – about this year as opposed to all the other years is that nothing has changed; you are continuing on your sweet, beautiful journey.
You always show love and concern for me and daddy. You care about how we feel and if something hurts us, it’s almost like it hurts you too. Just the other day you told me you wanted to stay in the kids club a little longer so you could tidy up. “I don’t want the man to do it levad” you explained. Beautiful.
You’re getting pretty smart these days too; it’s amazing to see your brain works. One morning you helped get Eitan up and ready but you didn’t get around to doing netilat yadayim. Or so I thought. Turned out – as you explained – “there was no-one to say amen as you were sleeping.” Everything is a consideration for you; and I admire it so much.
Golan, no matter how old you get I’ll never tire of your affection. You waking me up in the middle of a deep sleep (and everyone knows how much I love my sleep) is something that touches me so deep, in a place I hardly ever reach, if at all. It goes straight to my core as it comes directly from yours. It’s beautiful.
But there again, everything about you is beautiful. Both inside and out, those who come into contact with you just enjoy you on so many levels.
Six years on and I’m still completely baffled as to why Hashem chose to bestow the blessing of Golan Moshe Sass onto your daddy and me. But then again, most of the world baffles me so I guess I should just shut up and enjoy it. And I do, truly, with you…every single day a little bit more.
Thank you for being my son.
Postscript
I asked Golan if he liked what I wrote. "Yes," he replied. "How did it make you feel?" I then asked. "Nice," he responded.
Golan, today you are 7 years old. Seven years ago you gave me the greatest gift I believe anyone gets in life – you made me a parent. But just because I received the greatest gift back then, doesn’t mean that I haven’t kept on being the recipient of greatness, having the zechut to have you in my life all this time. Yes, you’ve been a bit like the phonograph – the gift that keeps on giving.
The number 7 in Judaism has one of the greatest powers of all numbers. It represents creation, good fortune and blessing. It is the day Hashem rested (Shabbat) and combined, there are seven abbaot and immaot. A week in its completion is 7 days. Yes, when you were born you completed me in many ways, enabling me to become a mother.
In addition, the Hebrew word גד – which coincidentally has the first letter of both your name and your daddy’s – means luck and has the gematria of 7. Incidentally, I don’t really believe in coincidences. As Albert Einstein once said, “coincidence is G-d’s way of remaining anonymous.”
Golan, now that you’re showing an interest in magic, you might also want to know that seven is the number often used in spells, magic, amulets, etc. From a spiritual perspective, the first sentence of the Torah has 7 words and there are many, many more 7-associated themes in Judaism.
In line with Torah Judaism, this – your seventh year – is the one in which you started Kita Aleph, a HUGE milestone. In fact, when I tell Israelis my son started Kita Aleph, the response I get is “mazal tov.” Meaning good luck, a lot of parents need that as their kids take on this new challenge. But, just like everything else so far in your life, you have taken this in your stride, being relaxed, happy, and eager to go get the bus – all by yourself – every morning. Parents would kill for this kind of response and I’m so grateful this has been your path and so very proud to be your mummy.
Golan, mummy and daddy know that sometimes it can be difficult for you to be with Eitan. He’s not perfect but there again, neither are you. But I promise you this, that in the hardest moments with him, there is always a light. Try to remember that he loves you so so much, he just doesn’t always succeed in expressing that properly yet. Also, when he was really small, it was only you that he smiled at. Sometimes he just doesn’t know how to behave like a mentsch but he’s learning and I think he’s going to learn good as he has the best teacher ever – you.
Thank you for being my son. Thank you for making me a mum. And thank you for being the best little brother to Gal and big brother to Eitan. The last seven years with you have been so happy I want to cry, so funny I want to laugh and brought me to so many places I never dreamed I’d get to. I can’t wait to spend more time with my special child. Thank you for being you.
The number 7 in Judaism has one of the greatest powers of all numbers. It represents creation, good fortune and blessing. It is the day Hashem rested (Shabbat) and combined, there are seven abbaot and immaot. A week in its completion is 7 days. Yes, when you were born you completed me in many ways, enabling me to become a mother.
In addition, the Hebrew word גד – which coincidentally has the first letter of both your name and your daddy’s – means luck and has the gematria of 7. Incidentally, I don’t really believe in coincidences. As Albert Einstein once said, “coincidence is G-d’s way of remaining anonymous.”
Golan, now that you’re showing an interest in magic, you might also want to know that seven is the number often used in spells, magic, amulets, etc. From a spiritual perspective, the first sentence of the Torah has 7 words and there are many, many more 7-associated themes in Judaism.
In line with Torah Judaism, this – your seventh year – is the one in which you started Kita Aleph, a HUGE milestone. In fact, when I tell Israelis my son started Kita Aleph, the response I get is “mazal tov.” Meaning good luck, a lot of parents need that as their kids take on this new challenge. But, just like everything else so far in your life, you have taken this in your stride, being relaxed, happy, and eager to go get the bus – all by yourself – every morning. Parents would kill for this kind of response and I’m so grateful this has been your path and so very proud to be your mummy.
Golan, mummy and daddy know that sometimes it can be difficult for you to be with Eitan. He’s not perfect but there again, neither are you. But I promise you this, that in the hardest moments with him, there is always a light. Try to remember that he loves you so so much, he just doesn’t always succeed in expressing that properly yet. Also, when he was really small, it was only you that he smiled at. Sometimes he just doesn’t know how to behave like a mentsch but he’s learning and I think he’s going to learn good as he has the best teacher ever – you.
Thank you for being my son. Thank you for making me a mum. And thank you for being the best little brother to Gal and big brother to Eitan. The last seven years with you have been so happy I want to cry, so funny I want to laugh and brought me to so many places I never dreamed I’d get to. I can’t wait to spend more time with my special child. Thank you for being you.
December 3, 2014
On Tremendous Pride and Gratitude
Last night my husband and I had the zechut – privilege – to go to our first ever Asifat Horim. That means, in English – Parents-Teacher Conference. I describe it as a zechut for many reasons. First, that we are parents. Second, that we are parents to a great kid. Third, that we are a married couple very much in love, nearly 10 years down the line. Fourth, that this event took place in Eretz Yisrael. Fifth that it was in OUR hometown of Efrat and lastly – but by no means least – that we don’t take any of these points as a given and are grateful for them on a daily basis.
When I was growing up in England I was heavily involved in Jewish youth movements that placed a significant emphasis on Zionism. While I never really saw myself as living in Israel – back in the day it was way harder than it is now, and my whole family was in England – I thought it was pretty awesome nonetheless to have a tree planted there in my name thanks to the Zionist Federation (although it is entirely possible there is just one tree for everyone who “plants” it but I digress).
When I was growing up I didn’t think much of marriage. Having had less-than-functional relationships I didn’t see myself as the marrying kind. It just wasn’t me.
As I got older, while I might have become more accepting of the idea of marriage, kids were the farthest thing from my mind. I don’t see myself as maternal, feeling I didn’t have the mothering instinct. Besides which, I knew from too many people how much of a gift becoming a parent was and how many people were denied it. I thus certainly never felt it would be bestowed on me.
Fast forward a couple of decades and I find myself in Israel. In a shared-rental in Jerusalem. Which was fine. Nothing grand, but fine. Husbands were still a far-off concept to me and kids were certainly not on my radar.
But then something grand happened. Hashem stepped in. Big time. Bigger than I ever imagined or dreamed possible. And these blessings happened…nothing short of miraculously.
Last night was so much more than just our first Asifat Horim. It was an event that marked where we are in life and what we’re doing – with all our mistakes, but still, what we’re doing – with our family, here in Efrat, Eretz Yisrael.
Golan is nothing short of our shaliach mitzvah. He is putting into practice all those years of “tree” planting, singing Hatikva, hearing stories from real life chayalim, and more. He is talking the language of our forefathers, the words that are in their original form in our Torah. He is living the Judaism that we only had the opportunity to hear about. And thus thanks to him we – as his parents chosen by Hashem – have the tremendous zechut to somehow be a small part of that.
Incidentally, it doesn’t hurt all that much that he has a beautiful, sweet, caring neshama, always seeking to bring joy and relieve pain to those around him, via his fun-loving nature.
Thank you Golan for being my shaliach mitzvah. I look forward – with your daddy – to many more events that should never be taken for granted.
On Tremendous Pride and Gratitude
Last night my husband and I had the zechut – privilege – to go to our first ever Asifat Horim. That means, in English – Parents-Teacher Conference. I describe it as a zechut for many reasons. First, that we are parents. Second, that we are parents to a great kid. Third, that we are a married couple very much in love, nearly 10 years down the line. Fourth, that this event took place in Eretz Yisrael. Fifth that it was in OUR hometown of Efrat and lastly – but by no means least – that we don’t take any of these points as a given and are grateful for them on a daily basis.
When I was growing up in England I was heavily involved in Jewish youth movements that placed a significant emphasis on Zionism. While I never really saw myself as living in Israel – back in the day it was way harder than it is now, and my whole family was in England – I thought it was pretty awesome nonetheless to have a tree planted there in my name thanks to the Zionist Federation (although it is entirely possible there is just one tree for everyone who “plants” it but I digress).
When I was growing up I didn’t think much of marriage. Having had less-than-functional relationships I didn’t see myself as the marrying kind. It just wasn’t me.
As I got older, while I might have become more accepting of the idea of marriage, kids were the farthest thing from my mind. I don’t see myself as maternal, feeling I didn’t have the mothering instinct. Besides which, I knew from too many people how much of a gift becoming a parent was and how many people were denied it. I thus certainly never felt it would be bestowed on me.
Fast forward a couple of decades and I find myself in Israel. In a shared-rental in Jerusalem. Which was fine. Nothing grand, but fine. Husbands were still a far-off concept to me and kids were certainly not on my radar.
But then something grand happened. Hashem stepped in. Big time. Bigger than I ever imagined or dreamed possible. And these blessings happened…nothing short of miraculously.
Last night was so much more than just our first Asifat Horim. It was an event that marked where we are in life and what we’re doing – with all our mistakes, but still, what we’re doing – with our family, here in Efrat, Eretz Yisrael.
Golan is nothing short of our shaliach mitzvah. He is putting into practice all those years of “tree” planting, singing Hatikva, hearing stories from real life chayalim, and more. He is talking the language of our forefathers, the words that are in their original form in our Torah. He is living the Judaism that we only had the opportunity to hear about. And thus thanks to him we – as his parents chosen by Hashem – have the tremendous zechut to somehow be a small part of that.
Incidentally, it doesn’t hurt all that much that he has a beautiful, sweet, caring neshama, always seeking to bring joy and relieve pain to those around him, via his fun-loving nature.
Thank you Golan for being my shaliach mitzvah. I look forward – with your daddy – to many more events that should never be taken for granted.
My dear Golan,
As is traditional on your birthday I am writing you some words to try to articulate my thoughts and feelings on this very special day.
I want you to know that I am ridiculously proud of being your mummy. That’s the first thing. You started kita aleph a year ago now and throughout your first experience in school you have proven yourself. Each of your parent-teacher meetings have been filled with joy, moments of beaming pride and excitement for your daddy and me at the wonderful things your teacher Chana has to say about you.
And what are those things? A lot of what we have seen so far in your life: you are sweet, you have a keen mind, a deep curiosity and you love to learn. You behave beautifully. You understand what it is to listen to and follow rules. That’s not a small thing. I don’t take it for granted for one second and it thrills me that Chana notices it.
You still show sensitivity so much even though you are growing up and as a boy I feared you would lose it. You want to make sure your friends and family are happy. Just before Pesach you made matza in school. You came home and told me, “I didn’t eat the matza I made at school as I knew daddy would want to take a picture of it.” When you invited Chaim to your party you said to me “make sure he knows that he may be the only older kid, I don’t want that he should feel bad.” A year after you had a fight with a friend you told me you wanted to do what you could to make it right again. You demonstrated true sadness and apologized to him. That was brave.
You speak beautifully on the phone – with tremendous kavod – to grandma and papa, saba and savta. Even though I tell you to call them to wish them Shabbat shalom or ask how their week has been, you engage with them beautifully. They love talking to you on the phone; why wouldn’t they? They know you love them.
Despite your claims to the contrary and even though sometimes it is challenging and annoying, I know you love Eitan very much. You care about him. You seek to help him. You want to build his lego. You want to make sure he’s okay. In fact just a few months ago when I was giving stars for good behaviour I said that you were going to get an extra one but that I would have to take one away from Eitan as he’d been behaving badly. Without missing a beat you said, “it’s okay Eitan, don’t be sad, I’m going to give you one of mine.” Yes it’s annoying sometimes but hey we all get on each other’s nerves here and there, that’s normal and okay.
You are very sweet to Gal too. You hug and kiss him and show concern for his wellbeing. And of course to your very own teddy bear, Richard, who celebrated his own birthday just two days before yours; you asked us why he couldn't have a cake too.
When you have a bad dream that involves daddy or me you always say “but don’t tell him/her, I don’t want to hurt his/her feelings.” When you had a not-great experience at keytana, you told me, but only on the condition that “you don’t tell her. I don’t want to make her sad.”
Golan you were born 2 days before Rosh Hashanah. You are the total epitome of new beginnings, budding opportunities and renewed chances to start afresh. When I see you first thing in the morning, or after your shower, or as you get dressed for Shabbat or on so many other instances, I feel that newness. It’s incredible to me that still, at the ripe old age of 8, you have this abundant cuteness. I suppose it’s because you just keep renewing anything that is old in our lives and reminding us of continued opportunities. Thank you. Keep being you Golan Moshe Sass, we love you.
As is traditional on your birthday I am writing you some words to try to articulate my thoughts and feelings on this very special day.
I want you to know that I am ridiculously proud of being your mummy. That’s the first thing. You started kita aleph a year ago now and throughout your first experience in school you have proven yourself. Each of your parent-teacher meetings have been filled with joy, moments of beaming pride and excitement for your daddy and me at the wonderful things your teacher Chana has to say about you.
And what are those things? A lot of what we have seen so far in your life: you are sweet, you have a keen mind, a deep curiosity and you love to learn. You behave beautifully. You understand what it is to listen to and follow rules. That’s not a small thing. I don’t take it for granted for one second and it thrills me that Chana notices it.
You still show sensitivity so much even though you are growing up and as a boy I feared you would lose it. You want to make sure your friends and family are happy. Just before Pesach you made matza in school. You came home and told me, “I didn’t eat the matza I made at school as I knew daddy would want to take a picture of it.” When you invited Chaim to your party you said to me “make sure he knows that he may be the only older kid, I don’t want that he should feel bad.” A year after you had a fight with a friend you told me you wanted to do what you could to make it right again. You demonstrated true sadness and apologized to him. That was brave.
You speak beautifully on the phone – with tremendous kavod – to grandma and papa, saba and savta. Even though I tell you to call them to wish them Shabbat shalom or ask how their week has been, you engage with them beautifully. They love talking to you on the phone; why wouldn’t they? They know you love them.
Despite your claims to the contrary and even though sometimes it is challenging and annoying, I know you love Eitan very much. You care about him. You seek to help him. You want to build his lego. You want to make sure he’s okay. In fact just a few months ago when I was giving stars for good behaviour I said that you were going to get an extra one but that I would have to take one away from Eitan as he’d been behaving badly. Without missing a beat you said, “it’s okay Eitan, don’t be sad, I’m going to give you one of mine.” Yes it’s annoying sometimes but hey we all get on each other’s nerves here and there, that’s normal and okay.
You are very sweet to Gal too. You hug and kiss him and show concern for his wellbeing. And of course to your very own teddy bear, Richard, who celebrated his own birthday just two days before yours; you asked us why he couldn't have a cake too.
When you have a bad dream that involves daddy or me you always say “but don’t tell him/her, I don’t want to hurt his/her feelings.” When you had a not-great experience at keytana, you told me, but only on the condition that “you don’t tell her. I don’t want to make her sad.”
Golan you were born 2 days before Rosh Hashanah. You are the total epitome of new beginnings, budding opportunities and renewed chances to start afresh. When I see you first thing in the morning, or after your shower, or as you get dressed for Shabbat or on so many other instances, I feel that newness. It’s incredible to me that still, at the ripe old age of 8, you have this abundant cuteness. I suppose it’s because you just keep renewing anything that is old in our lives and reminding us of continued opportunities. Thank you. Keep being you Golan Moshe Sass, we love you.
My dear Golan,
Since I know you love חשבון I’m gonna start with some numbers. 9 years old. 3rd grade. 4th in our family. 1 in a googol. That’s you in numbers.
Now for the words: Golan, you continue to surpass all of my wildest expectations, hopes and dreams. You make me laugh, cry with me, understand and love me and are a true friend to everyone who comes in your path.
Whenever you go to a new person’s house I am overwhelmed by the messages I get from their mom: “he is so polite…so well-mannered…what a sweet boy…what a pleasure to have,” etc. This is no exaggeration; it is literally a googol of expressions of awe about how wonderful an 8-year-old boy behaves.
Irrespective of what you may say about your little brother, mummy and daddy know you adore Eitan. And anyway it doesn’t matter because he’s simply besotted by you. When you guys don’t see each other for a whole day the first question you ask is of the other’s whereabouts. And you can get into some crazy fights but within about 3 and a half minutes one of you will say to the other “hey, you wanna play?” which will always be answered in the affirmative.
You sat with papa last Shabbat so beautifully. You got to shul earlier than we’ve ever done so before and stayed by his side from the start of mincha til the end of Arvit Shabbat. When we got home Papa told me how beautifully you followed everything. Nachat. That’s what you give to me, daddy, and your grandparents always.
And of course let’s not forget how active you’ve become. “I’m just an active kid,” I heard you say time and again over the summer. Getting back to numbers again the gematria for ילד פעיל is 244 which we also find in בראשית18: 24 as צדיקם which means righteous – a tzaddik, which I often call you.
True Golan, you’re not perfect – no-one is (not even daddy although he sometimes likes to think he is). Getting up in the morning is definitely not something you could win a medal in but you’ve gotten enough medals in other things. Mummy and daddy almost burst with pride when you not only came home with the gold at your judo competition in a rather tough and most intense fight but you also got the גביע something you’d wanted for many years. And you got that for general camaraderie and a true display of being a mentsch, which interestingly has the gematria of 85 which is the same as מעדם.
Ever the practical helper, last week when daddy was away for Shabbat and Eitan started choking, not only were you extremely thoughtful, loving and kind, you actually assisted me. “Shall I bring a towel?” you asked. Ooh, good idea I thought. After you did that, you brought a change of clothing and then when we were back on the bed watching TV you said we should get a bucket in case he threw up, which you then went to find.
So all in all Golan I’m delighted to be your mummy, thrilled to be celebrating your 9th birthday with you (you are now legally able to stay in the house alone) and continue to be in awe of what an absolutely remarkable kid you are. Thank you for being you.
Since I know you love חשבון I’m gonna start with some numbers. 9 years old. 3rd grade. 4th in our family. 1 in a googol. That’s you in numbers.
Now for the words: Golan, you continue to surpass all of my wildest expectations, hopes and dreams. You make me laugh, cry with me, understand and love me and are a true friend to everyone who comes in your path.
Whenever you go to a new person’s house I am overwhelmed by the messages I get from their mom: “he is so polite…so well-mannered…what a sweet boy…what a pleasure to have,” etc. This is no exaggeration; it is literally a googol of expressions of awe about how wonderful an 8-year-old boy behaves.
Irrespective of what you may say about your little brother, mummy and daddy know you adore Eitan. And anyway it doesn’t matter because he’s simply besotted by you. When you guys don’t see each other for a whole day the first question you ask is of the other’s whereabouts. And you can get into some crazy fights but within about 3 and a half minutes one of you will say to the other “hey, you wanna play?” which will always be answered in the affirmative.
You sat with papa last Shabbat so beautifully. You got to shul earlier than we’ve ever done so before and stayed by his side from the start of mincha til the end of Arvit Shabbat. When we got home Papa told me how beautifully you followed everything. Nachat. That’s what you give to me, daddy, and your grandparents always.
And of course let’s not forget how active you’ve become. “I’m just an active kid,” I heard you say time and again over the summer. Getting back to numbers again the gematria for ילד פעיל is 244 which we also find in בראשית18: 24 as צדיקם which means righteous – a tzaddik, which I often call you.
True Golan, you’re not perfect – no-one is (not even daddy although he sometimes likes to think he is). Getting up in the morning is definitely not something you could win a medal in but you’ve gotten enough medals in other things. Mummy and daddy almost burst with pride when you not only came home with the gold at your judo competition in a rather tough and most intense fight but you also got the גביע something you’d wanted for many years. And you got that for general camaraderie and a true display of being a mentsch, which interestingly has the gematria of 85 which is the same as מעדם.
Ever the practical helper, last week when daddy was away for Shabbat and Eitan started choking, not only were you extremely thoughtful, loving and kind, you actually assisted me. “Shall I bring a towel?” you asked. Ooh, good idea I thought. After you did that, you brought a change of clothing and then when we were back on the bed watching TV you said we should get a bucket in case he threw up, which you then went to find.
So all in all Golan I’m delighted to be your mummy, thrilled to be celebrating your 9th birthday with you (you are now legally able to stay in the house alone) and continue to be in awe of what an absolutely remarkable kid you are. Thank you for being you.
My wonderful Golan Moshe Sass,
You are 10; a decade “old.” Whenever I tell people my Golan is turning 10, they say “oh double digits,” but that doesn’t impress me. You do. Every. single. day. Single, double digits, whatever – you get there just by getting older – but you? You just keep developing and making me increasingly proud to be your mummy.
So let’s start with the list: 10 of the (Many) Reasons I Love Golan
You are 10; a decade “old.” Whenever I tell people my Golan is turning 10, they say “oh double digits,” but that doesn’t impress me. You do. Every. single. day. Single, double digits, whatever – you get there just by getting older – but you? You just keep developing and making me increasingly proud to be your mummy.
So let’s start with the list: 10 of the (Many) Reasons I Love Golan
- You have a wonderful joie de vivre. I start with this as I actually think it’s something you inherited from both daddy and me (quite rare given how different we are) but in different ways. From daddy, the physical – always wanting to bounce around and find something new to do. From me, the simple love of being with people.
- You are smart and you want to continue to learn. Sometimes you can get a tad lazy but in general you work hard, are eager to learn and extremely bright and impressive to both your teachers and us.
- You are a wonderful big brother. Obviously you sometimes get irritated by Eitan but it’s clear that you love him very much. And it’s totally obvious how much he loves you as he always wants to do whatever you’re doing and be just like you. You are his role model so make sure you do the right thing as he’ll follow you. We’re counting on you!
- And talking of counting on you we come to the next point: you’re very responsible. I know that if I tell you something to do and I emphasize it’s important (to do something or not to do something) then you’ll do it. We can trust you and that’s not something we take for granted.
- You’re helpful. When I need something done I know I can ask you. Most times you are great when I ask you to do things like help Eitan or walk Gal. If I need help with something around the house too (like bringing in shopping and washing dishes) you like to oblige.
- You have a wonderful smile. It’s infectious. I love it. And I particularly love being the cause of it.
- You are kind and thoughtful. You always look out for others and make sure that your friends are protected. When someone is not nice to you it hurts you. And it should. And you’re getting good at opening up about this despite daddy’s “Sass philosophy.”
- You are popular. People always want to play with you and I love that our home is “the go to house” on Shabbat. You’ve brought joy and laughter to our Efrat home, in the heart of the Jewish people and I love you for that.
- You are a wonderful grandson. Both grandma and papa and saba and savta love you so very much. You make them proud. You are kind an act sensitively toward them. You are respectful to them and you engage them. That’s purely wonderful.
- You made daddy and I parents and brought such immediate joy to our lives 10 years ago, just before the start of the Jewish new year, the head of the Hebrew cycle. When marking your birthday each year, it seems to be an opportunity to renew ourselves as well in Ellul.
My dear Golan
Today you are 11 years old and it’s such a continued zechut to watch you grow and develop your beautiful middot each day. There has never been a time when you haven’t astounded me with your kindness, sensitivity, patience and wisdom. You are a total natural with people and it’s therefore not surprising that you’ve become incredibly popular among your peers and with your teachers over these last 12 months.
Last year again we heard from your homeroom teacher that you had tremendous “Derech Eretz” – a character trait of the utmost importance to mummy and daddy. She also told you that no matter which set of kids you are with in Fifth Grade, you’ll thrive as you make friends easily. And you do.
We saw with Shutaf this summer how you didn’t know anyone but within moments of being there had a bunch of new “best friends.” It’s never phased you – going somewhere new – ever since you were just a year old and in the middle of the year you had to start a different mishpachton; you’ve always just wanted to play and be active, demonstrating your love of human beings.
You’re a lot like me in many ways. When you get tired you’re all over the place but then very soon after you’ve gotten in out of your system you want to rectify it and show real remorse. You know how to genuinely apologize; don’t underestimate that ever as it’s a huge thing. Many people really don’t know how to authentically say sorry and try to fix the damage they’ve caused. At just 11 years old you show maturity beyond your years as you can.
You are so fantastic with Eitan. Yeah you fight and it’s irritating but hey, you’re brothers; wouldn’t be normal if you didn’t. But at the end of the day when things are bad for him you step up like the protective big brother you are. You let him play with your fifth grade group in the school yard too. Even if he’s being difficult toward you if I threaten a punishment you try to get him out of it and say it’s okay. You also give me – often quite helpful – parenting tips for him!
And talking of little kids, seeing you with Roi Spaeth these last few months has been so beautiful for me. You took to him like a duck to water; your gentleness, warmth and lovingkindness was apparent straight away, not just to daddy and me but to his parents also.
It’s not been easy for any of us watching papa struggle with this horrible illness. But again you’ve been amazing. You say a special personal prayer for him every single day. And, talking of prayers, the fact that you took on morning davening every day of the summer without being prompted again shows a discipline and maturity of someone older than your years. It makes me proud as self-discipline is something that’s important to me too.
Grandma and Papa love when you phone and you’re very good about that. You also know how to thank them and Saba and Savta for the kindness they show you. You are very appreciative of what people do for you and very often thank me for bringing snacks into the den while you attack the Fortnight battlefield! (Don’t worry I found a place for Fortnight in my annual bracha for you; it is after all, a bracha for you)!
I think the episode that made daddy and I most proud of this year was when the OMG Pop Up Café kids needed one extra waiter for their event. They all sat around and threw out names. It had to be a unanimous decision and the ONLY name that came out for that was you: they all made the executive decision that you would be great with the customers and were a pleasure to work with. And they were right. And I hope the 92 nis you made from your first ever job made it worth doing!
I love you Golan and I’m beyond proud of everything that makes you, you. Hatzlacha for all you do as you move forward in life.
Today you are 11 years old and it’s such a continued zechut to watch you grow and develop your beautiful middot each day. There has never been a time when you haven’t astounded me with your kindness, sensitivity, patience and wisdom. You are a total natural with people and it’s therefore not surprising that you’ve become incredibly popular among your peers and with your teachers over these last 12 months.
Last year again we heard from your homeroom teacher that you had tremendous “Derech Eretz” – a character trait of the utmost importance to mummy and daddy. She also told you that no matter which set of kids you are with in Fifth Grade, you’ll thrive as you make friends easily. And you do.
We saw with Shutaf this summer how you didn’t know anyone but within moments of being there had a bunch of new “best friends.” It’s never phased you – going somewhere new – ever since you were just a year old and in the middle of the year you had to start a different mishpachton; you’ve always just wanted to play and be active, demonstrating your love of human beings.
You’re a lot like me in many ways. When you get tired you’re all over the place but then very soon after you’ve gotten in out of your system you want to rectify it and show real remorse. You know how to genuinely apologize; don’t underestimate that ever as it’s a huge thing. Many people really don’t know how to authentically say sorry and try to fix the damage they’ve caused. At just 11 years old you show maturity beyond your years as you can.
You are so fantastic with Eitan. Yeah you fight and it’s irritating but hey, you’re brothers; wouldn’t be normal if you didn’t. But at the end of the day when things are bad for him you step up like the protective big brother you are. You let him play with your fifth grade group in the school yard too. Even if he’s being difficult toward you if I threaten a punishment you try to get him out of it and say it’s okay. You also give me – often quite helpful – parenting tips for him!
And talking of little kids, seeing you with Roi Spaeth these last few months has been so beautiful for me. You took to him like a duck to water; your gentleness, warmth and lovingkindness was apparent straight away, not just to daddy and me but to his parents also.
It’s not been easy for any of us watching papa struggle with this horrible illness. But again you’ve been amazing. You say a special personal prayer for him every single day. And, talking of prayers, the fact that you took on morning davening every day of the summer without being prompted again shows a discipline and maturity of someone older than your years. It makes me proud as self-discipline is something that’s important to me too.
Grandma and Papa love when you phone and you’re very good about that. You also know how to thank them and Saba and Savta for the kindness they show you. You are very appreciative of what people do for you and very often thank me for bringing snacks into the den while you attack the Fortnight battlefield! (Don’t worry I found a place for Fortnight in my annual bracha for you; it is after all, a bracha for you)!
I think the episode that made daddy and I most proud of this year was when the OMG Pop Up Café kids needed one extra waiter for their event. They all sat around and threw out names. It had to be a unanimous decision and the ONLY name that came out for that was you: they all made the executive decision that you would be great with the customers and were a pleasure to work with. And they were right. And I hope the 92 nis you made from your first ever job made it worth doing!
I love you Golan and I’m beyond proud of everything that makes you, you. Hatzlacha for all you do as you move forward in life.
As a parent you want your child to succeed. You also want them to thrive and develop good personality traits while doing so. Sometimes you have to make a choice though: succeed orthrive. Whileyouas a grown up know what you’d prefer for both your child and yourself, as they start to grow up you know you need to let them make the decision for themselves.
My son is – bli ayin hara– an exceptionally wonderful individual. Weekly – and this is no exaggeration, in fact it’s probably closer to daily – we get phone calls, stopped in the street, messages, emails, notices about something special/kind/sweet/sensitive/thoughtful he has done. My husband and I have no idea how we got so blessed to have such a child but we did. It has nothing to do with us; he simply came out this way.
He’s not perfect; what kid is? He’s a regular kid who fights with his younger brother, leaves his smelly socks on the floor and constantly loses items of clothing, backpacks and the like. But he’s a really, really, truly great son.
When he first started doing extra-curricular activities, he chose judo. He had the most amazing coach who believed in him and encouraged him. He also had a natural flair for it; he easily mastered the technique and, with great coaching he thrived and succeeded. But what impressed me most about the coach was not how he was with my son (who found it relatively easy) but with every.single.child in his class.
Now this wasn’t a regular class. This was a class where every parent sent (and still sends) their kid with a whole slew of issues. There’d be one screaming, another one bothering as many kids as he could and still another one jumping up and down just because he could. Dan (the judo coach) didn’t “deal” with these kids, he simply worked with them. Watching Dan – okay, who granted is an extra special coach – at these classes was possibly one of the best lessons in education any teacher-in-training could ask for.
Dan understood and fully accepted that every kid – irrespective of ability or personality – deserved a chance. At the same time, somehow (and I really don’t know how) he was able to ensure this did not overwhelm the teaching of the class or hinder the other kids. Hence my kid – and all the kids in the class – thrived andsucceeded. And it was great.
But then after a few years, my child decided that since all his friends were getting into (let’s call it football for now) football, he was going to as well. He wasn’t a natural but he loved playing with his friends. He joined the activity after school and worked so hard that he got Most Improved Player award that year. When they had the league selection we weren’t sure if he would get in. But he did. And he was so proud of himself. He definitely didn’t find it easy but it was fun, a great workout, there was a wonderful camaraderie going on and we were delighted at the potential the league would offer him, while knowing he wouldn’t be the champion player. But we didn’t care about that. At. All. And neither did he.
Despite his best efforts he didn’t improve all that much. But still he worked at it. Still he tried. Still he didn’t give up. And that made us proud. But the coach – and yes, it’s true this wasa league and notjust a fun after school sporting activity – put him down. Time.and.time.again. I had never seen a child go from being a confident, well-loved, popular and happy individual to a downtrodden, tearful, confused tween…at least when he was participating in the league. I am grateful this did not impact the rest of his life.
The disparity between judo and football was shocking. But I knew this was his battle to fight. I couldn’t run and mama bear my kid and say, “that’s it you’re out of here” (much as I so very much wanted to). Plus my husband believed he should try to “toughen it out” in preparation for the army and other future life challenges.
A year of this went by. He stuck it out for AN ENTIRE YEAR. At 10 years old. He’d go to the practice or the game with full enthusiasm, hoping he’d practiced enough and would be “better” this week. He was the kid who took 4 bags of popcorn for all the boys to share on the bus ride over there and whose daddy never missed a game and even filmed it, facilitating teaching practices for the coach.
But apparently this wasn’t enough. His good nature, hard work, “average” playing got him insults; led him to sit on the bench for most of the game and had the coach single him out for “running like a 3 year old.”
This year I was so silently hoping that– on his own – he would decide that this was just, pardon my French, crap. Yeah he’s going to have hard times and life will throw difficulties and curveballs at him. But will he really benefit from being treated like this at 11 years old in a sports league?
“Golan,” I said, “if you do the league this year you’ll have to miss out on 7 weeks of baseball training and then American football after that.”
“I still choose the league,” he said.
OK. It was, as I kept saying, his choice.
The first practice was good. I was relieved and a little surprised. The next day was a game. Not against another team, just a practice game within the league. This day broke my heart and finally broke him which was devastating but also ultimately empowering.
“Mummy I need a jacket because the coach said that we have to bring a jacket as it will be cold when we leave the game tonight.”
“No you don’t,” I said, not knowing where his coat was anyway and it is still summer after all. “You won’t get cold; it’s still summer,” I added.
“Okay but last year one of my friends got an award for being organized. Maybe I could get that award this year,” my beautiful boy suggested optimistically.
It broke me. He was so desperate for approval. I gave him my coat that was too big for him, rolled up the sleeves and whispered a little prayer.
He came home. He didn’t cry. But his lower lip was quivering. He was trying to be “strong” and not cry. And then he said the words I had so longed to hear because of a coach who instead of building up the kids to help them improve their game, somehow gets a kick out of putting them down.
“I don’t want to do the league anymore. I quit.”
And I suddenly realized at that moment how inaccurate that quote of “winners never quit” is. Because in that moment, my son won. He won because he persevered for a year even though he was made to feel small. He won because he kept trying to find ways to improve his game. He won because he wanted to make his teammates happy by feeding them popcorn. And he won because – unlike so many adults in horrible situations – he knew when enough was enough and actually acted on it.
My son is – bli ayin hara– an exceptionally wonderful individual. Weekly – and this is no exaggeration, in fact it’s probably closer to daily – we get phone calls, stopped in the street, messages, emails, notices about something special/kind/sweet/sensitive/thoughtful he has done. My husband and I have no idea how we got so blessed to have such a child but we did. It has nothing to do with us; he simply came out this way.
He’s not perfect; what kid is? He’s a regular kid who fights with his younger brother, leaves his smelly socks on the floor and constantly loses items of clothing, backpacks and the like. But he’s a really, really, truly great son.
When he first started doing extra-curricular activities, he chose judo. He had the most amazing coach who believed in him and encouraged him. He also had a natural flair for it; he easily mastered the technique and, with great coaching he thrived and succeeded. But what impressed me most about the coach was not how he was with my son (who found it relatively easy) but with every.single.child in his class.
Now this wasn’t a regular class. This was a class where every parent sent (and still sends) their kid with a whole slew of issues. There’d be one screaming, another one bothering as many kids as he could and still another one jumping up and down just because he could. Dan (the judo coach) didn’t “deal” with these kids, he simply worked with them. Watching Dan – okay, who granted is an extra special coach – at these classes was possibly one of the best lessons in education any teacher-in-training could ask for.
Dan understood and fully accepted that every kid – irrespective of ability or personality – deserved a chance. At the same time, somehow (and I really don’t know how) he was able to ensure this did not overwhelm the teaching of the class or hinder the other kids. Hence my kid – and all the kids in the class – thrived andsucceeded. And it was great.
But then after a few years, my child decided that since all his friends were getting into (let’s call it football for now) football, he was going to as well. He wasn’t a natural but he loved playing with his friends. He joined the activity after school and worked so hard that he got Most Improved Player award that year. When they had the league selection we weren’t sure if he would get in. But he did. And he was so proud of himself. He definitely didn’t find it easy but it was fun, a great workout, there was a wonderful camaraderie going on and we were delighted at the potential the league would offer him, while knowing he wouldn’t be the champion player. But we didn’t care about that. At. All. And neither did he.
Despite his best efforts he didn’t improve all that much. But still he worked at it. Still he tried. Still he didn’t give up. And that made us proud. But the coach – and yes, it’s true this wasa league and notjust a fun after school sporting activity – put him down. Time.and.time.again. I had never seen a child go from being a confident, well-loved, popular and happy individual to a downtrodden, tearful, confused tween…at least when he was participating in the league. I am grateful this did not impact the rest of his life.
The disparity between judo and football was shocking. But I knew this was his battle to fight. I couldn’t run and mama bear my kid and say, “that’s it you’re out of here” (much as I so very much wanted to). Plus my husband believed he should try to “toughen it out” in preparation for the army and other future life challenges.
A year of this went by. He stuck it out for AN ENTIRE YEAR. At 10 years old. He’d go to the practice or the game with full enthusiasm, hoping he’d practiced enough and would be “better” this week. He was the kid who took 4 bags of popcorn for all the boys to share on the bus ride over there and whose daddy never missed a game and even filmed it, facilitating teaching practices for the coach.
But apparently this wasn’t enough. His good nature, hard work, “average” playing got him insults; led him to sit on the bench for most of the game and had the coach single him out for “running like a 3 year old.”
This year I was so silently hoping that– on his own – he would decide that this was just, pardon my French, crap. Yeah he’s going to have hard times and life will throw difficulties and curveballs at him. But will he really benefit from being treated like this at 11 years old in a sports league?
“Golan,” I said, “if you do the league this year you’ll have to miss out on 7 weeks of baseball training and then American football after that.”
“I still choose the league,” he said.
OK. It was, as I kept saying, his choice.
The first practice was good. I was relieved and a little surprised. The next day was a game. Not against another team, just a practice game within the league. This day broke my heart and finally broke him which was devastating but also ultimately empowering.
“Mummy I need a jacket because the coach said that we have to bring a jacket as it will be cold when we leave the game tonight.”
“No you don’t,” I said, not knowing where his coat was anyway and it is still summer after all. “You won’t get cold; it’s still summer,” I added.
“Okay but last year one of my friends got an award for being organized. Maybe I could get that award this year,” my beautiful boy suggested optimistically.
It broke me. He was so desperate for approval. I gave him my coat that was too big for him, rolled up the sleeves and whispered a little prayer.
He came home. He didn’t cry. But his lower lip was quivering. He was trying to be “strong” and not cry. And then he said the words I had so longed to hear because of a coach who instead of building up the kids to help them improve their game, somehow gets a kick out of putting them down.
“I don’t want to do the league anymore. I quit.”
And I suddenly realized at that moment how inaccurate that quote of “winners never quit” is. Because in that moment, my son won. He won because he persevered for a year even though he was made to feel small. He won because he kept trying to find ways to improve his game. He won because he wanted to make his teammates happy by feeding them popcorn. And he won because – unlike so many adults in horrible situations – he knew when enough was enough and actually acted on it.
My dear Golan
12. That’s crazy. But what’s not crazy is what an incredible young man you have become and are becoming. On the one hand it’s weird that you’re already nearly a teenager, but on the other hand these past few months have seen you mature by leaps and bounds. True, a couple of years ago you once asked me when boys grow up and I responded, “I dunno; I’m still waiting for daddy,” but you seemed to have jumped way ahead of your years.
What have I specifically seen this year with you? Your kindness to me, daddy, Eitan, Junior and pretty much all those around you. No exaggeration but on an almost weekly basis I get a message/phonecall/meet up with someone who tells me you have been so nice to them, or to their child, or just shown an incredible sensitivity. I guess if I had to pick a favourite story to illustrate this it would be when you went to stay at your friend’s Adin house and his little sister Hallel kept asking you to play with her. Even though she asked time and again, and again and again, you never said no. It got so much that even her mother had to tell you to say no! Because whether you wanted to play with her each time or not, your desire to not upset her was too great for you to refuse her.
Another beautiful behaviour I have seen is your sense of right and wrong and your insistence on acting on that. If you see someone being mean to someone else, you’ll immediately go and protect them. As if that isn’t enough, it is so second nature to you that you won’t even tell us about it. My favourite example of this happened over the summer in Shutaf. One Friday my friend Debbie called to say she wanted to bring me something; it was a freshly baked challah. I had no idea why. I told you and daddy and we were all like “ooh how lovely.” You remained silent. Her husband and daughter Netta came with the challah. Still you didn’t say a word. When I finally called to thank Debbie and ask her what inspired this challah gift she said “oh someone was being really mean to Netta at camp. Golan stepped in and told him off”! I couldn’t believe it. Mummy and daddy were so very, very proud.
We are very grateful for your teacher Avi last and this year. You’ve done very well academically with him and we hope this continues. Even though you got addicted to that awful Fortnite, you eventually saw for yourself how negative it was and gave it up. I was proud of that intelligence and maturity. Perhaps now we can apply that to your general over-use of mobile devices!
I love how respectful you are to others, especially saba, savta, grandma and papa. When I see how you behave with them and how you show a truly mature kindness and patience with them, I beam with pride. In addition, you know how hard it is for me to see papa’s challenges and you immediately comfort me during these times, probably more than anyone else in my life does.
You’re also pretty funny…when you’re not trying to be. The stand-up comedy routine ehperhaps we could do without, but your natural sense of humour is awesome. My best story of that is when you asked me to get the Nestea for you and I said “No, do it yourself!” Five minutes later you said:
“Mummy, stand up for a second.” I did.
“Now that you’re up can you go get me the Nestea.” It was classic!
And talking of funny, you’re also fun. I like playing Bananagrams, Five Crowns, Rat a Tat Cat and Monopoly with you. Daddy loves playing sports with you and of course Eitan will play just about anything if he has a chance to hang out with his awesome big brother Golan.
Golan Moshe Sass, you’re special, you’re gifted, you’re beautiful inside and out and I love you more than you’ll ever know…But no (whispers)… not more than Eitan!
12. That’s crazy. But what’s not crazy is what an incredible young man you have become and are becoming. On the one hand it’s weird that you’re already nearly a teenager, but on the other hand these past few months have seen you mature by leaps and bounds. True, a couple of years ago you once asked me when boys grow up and I responded, “I dunno; I’m still waiting for daddy,” but you seemed to have jumped way ahead of your years.
What have I specifically seen this year with you? Your kindness to me, daddy, Eitan, Junior and pretty much all those around you. No exaggeration but on an almost weekly basis I get a message/phonecall/meet up with someone who tells me you have been so nice to them, or to their child, or just shown an incredible sensitivity. I guess if I had to pick a favourite story to illustrate this it would be when you went to stay at your friend’s Adin house and his little sister Hallel kept asking you to play with her. Even though she asked time and again, and again and again, you never said no. It got so much that even her mother had to tell you to say no! Because whether you wanted to play with her each time or not, your desire to not upset her was too great for you to refuse her.
Another beautiful behaviour I have seen is your sense of right and wrong and your insistence on acting on that. If you see someone being mean to someone else, you’ll immediately go and protect them. As if that isn’t enough, it is so second nature to you that you won’t even tell us about it. My favourite example of this happened over the summer in Shutaf. One Friday my friend Debbie called to say she wanted to bring me something; it was a freshly baked challah. I had no idea why. I told you and daddy and we were all like “ooh how lovely.” You remained silent. Her husband and daughter Netta came with the challah. Still you didn’t say a word. When I finally called to thank Debbie and ask her what inspired this challah gift she said “oh someone was being really mean to Netta at camp. Golan stepped in and told him off”! I couldn’t believe it. Mummy and daddy were so very, very proud.
We are very grateful for your teacher Avi last and this year. You’ve done very well academically with him and we hope this continues. Even though you got addicted to that awful Fortnite, you eventually saw for yourself how negative it was and gave it up. I was proud of that intelligence and maturity. Perhaps now we can apply that to your general over-use of mobile devices!
I love how respectful you are to others, especially saba, savta, grandma and papa. When I see how you behave with them and how you show a truly mature kindness and patience with them, I beam with pride. In addition, you know how hard it is for me to see papa’s challenges and you immediately comfort me during these times, probably more than anyone else in my life does.
You’re also pretty funny…when you’re not trying to be. The stand-up comedy routine ehperhaps we could do without, but your natural sense of humour is awesome. My best story of that is when you asked me to get the Nestea for you and I said “No, do it yourself!” Five minutes later you said:
“Mummy, stand up for a second.” I did.
“Now that you’re up can you go get me the Nestea.” It was classic!
And talking of funny, you’re also fun. I like playing Bananagrams, Five Crowns, Rat a Tat Cat and Monopoly with you. Daddy loves playing sports with you and of course Eitan will play just about anything if he has a chance to hang out with his awesome big brother Golan.
Golan Moshe Sass, you’re special, you’re gifted, you’re beautiful inside and out and I love you more than you’ll ever know…But no (whispers)… not more than Eitan!
Golan, today you put on your tefillin for the first time of what I hope and pray will be many, many, thousands of times from this day on. This is the milestone of you becoming a true bar-mitzvah – responsible for keeping of all Hashem’s mitzvot….a pretty big deal.
Daddy, saba, papa, great-grandfathers and many generations before you have participated in this mitzvah and it is perhaps one of my very first memories of papa. As a small child I would watch for long periods of time as he put his tefillin on and a kind of low, tranquil hum filled the room as he focused on this very mitzvah, morning after morning.
Golan, you have already began your very own tefillin journey. Going with daddy to meet your (left-handed!) sofer; all of us taking the workshop at Tefilin Chevron and even having the zechut to place your own tefillin in their boxes in one of the holiest places on earth – Chevron. To be part of any process stimulates our interest and I’m sure that this will be the case for you and tefillin.
This morning we read from parshat Ki Tetze which obviously is fitting as Hashem has a habit of hitting the nail on the head. The very first words literally mean “when you go out…” which is what we did this morning. We went out.
This in itself is a gift...especially when you think back to just a few short months ago when the coronavirus prevented us from going out. So that’s first. Second, Hashem is giving you the gift of helping you prepare fully before embarking on any journey you may take in the future; before “going out.” And today was even more special as that journey is Chevron.
Golan, every time from today before you leave the house in the morning, remember the mitzvah of tefillin, your tefillin, remember Hashem is right there with you, guiding you, taking care of you, loving you. This is a gift not just for you, but for mummy and daddy as well, knowing that you are constantly in Hashem’s thoughts and through the tefillin, He is in yours.
Golan, there are only two mitzvot in the whole Torah that we know the reward for – and it’s the same reward; a long life. One of them is in the parsha we read today:
שַׁלֵּ֤חַ תְּשַׁלַּח֙ אֶת־הָאֵ֔ם וְאֶת־הַבָּנִ֖ים תִּקַּח־לָ֑ךְ לְמַ֨עַן֙ יִ֣יטַב לָ֔ךְ וְהַֽאֲרַכְתָּ֖ יָמִֽים
Send away the mother [and only then] take her sons, in order that it will be good for you and lengthen your days.
This means – as you know – that when we see a mother bird, before taking her young, we have to send her away so she doesn’t experience the pain of losing her kids. The question is, why would it “be good for [us]?” I think the answer is, because when we do good for someone else, it is good for us. The best gift truly is when we make someone else happy.
There is another reason put forward by the Avnei Nezer. He said that pretty much all of negativity results from one core issues: ego. That can be turned on its head through the development of avodat Hashem and chinuch l’banim – classic markers in the mitzvah of tefillin. Family feuds, community clashes, silly squabbles, office arguments and even world wars can pretty much all be traced back to this core issue and perhaps could even be – at least in part – repaired by the ikkur of the mitzvah of tefillin.
The question is, how do we avoid that? Through avodat Hashem and chinuch l’banim. Through fighting the yetzer hara of the ego, putting the I aside and embracing the bigger picture. Through dedicated understanding, remembrance and comprehension of Hakadosh Baruch Hu. Yes Golan, that’s right…through the mitzvah of tefillin.
Golan, no matter where you go as you become an adult, where life takes you on your own personal journey and what you decide to do, know that your tefillin will always be a part of that. As you place them on your hand and your head – two of the most important parts of your body – never forget what is in your head (thoughts) and your hand/arm (what you use to work/ and what is in your heart – your feelings). I bless you today – and always – that the words of Shema, Kadesh and Vehaya stay a part of you, ad meah v’esrim and as the Hebrew speakers among us say, tamshich halah… you’re doing a fine job, young man.
Daddy, saba, papa, great-grandfathers and many generations before you have participated in this mitzvah and it is perhaps one of my very first memories of papa. As a small child I would watch for long periods of time as he put his tefillin on and a kind of low, tranquil hum filled the room as he focused on this very mitzvah, morning after morning.
Golan, you have already began your very own tefillin journey. Going with daddy to meet your (left-handed!) sofer; all of us taking the workshop at Tefilin Chevron and even having the zechut to place your own tefillin in their boxes in one of the holiest places on earth – Chevron. To be part of any process stimulates our interest and I’m sure that this will be the case for you and tefillin.
This morning we read from parshat Ki Tetze which obviously is fitting as Hashem has a habit of hitting the nail on the head. The very first words literally mean “when you go out…” which is what we did this morning. We went out.
This in itself is a gift...especially when you think back to just a few short months ago when the coronavirus prevented us from going out. So that’s first. Second, Hashem is giving you the gift of helping you prepare fully before embarking on any journey you may take in the future; before “going out.” And today was even more special as that journey is Chevron.
Golan, every time from today before you leave the house in the morning, remember the mitzvah of tefillin, your tefillin, remember Hashem is right there with you, guiding you, taking care of you, loving you. This is a gift not just for you, but for mummy and daddy as well, knowing that you are constantly in Hashem’s thoughts and through the tefillin, He is in yours.
Golan, there are only two mitzvot in the whole Torah that we know the reward for – and it’s the same reward; a long life. One of them is in the parsha we read today:
שַׁלֵּ֤חַ תְּשַׁלַּח֙ אֶת־הָאֵ֔ם וְאֶת־הַבָּנִ֖ים תִּקַּח־לָ֑ךְ לְמַ֨עַן֙ יִ֣יטַב לָ֔ךְ וְהַֽאֲרַכְתָּ֖ יָמִֽים
Send away the mother [and only then] take her sons, in order that it will be good for you and lengthen your days.
This means – as you know – that when we see a mother bird, before taking her young, we have to send her away so she doesn’t experience the pain of losing her kids. The question is, why would it “be good for [us]?” I think the answer is, because when we do good for someone else, it is good for us. The best gift truly is when we make someone else happy.
There is another reason put forward by the Avnei Nezer. He said that pretty much all of negativity results from one core issues: ego. That can be turned on its head through the development of avodat Hashem and chinuch l’banim – classic markers in the mitzvah of tefillin. Family feuds, community clashes, silly squabbles, office arguments and even world wars can pretty much all be traced back to this core issue and perhaps could even be – at least in part – repaired by the ikkur of the mitzvah of tefillin.
The question is, how do we avoid that? Through avodat Hashem and chinuch l’banim. Through fighting the yetzer hara of the ego, putting the I aside and embracing the bigger picture. Through dedicated understanding, remembrance and comprehension of Hakadosh Baruch Hu. Yes Golan, that’s right…through the mitzvah of tefillin.
Golan, no matter where you go as you become an adult, where life takes you on your own personal journey and what you decide to do, know that your tefillin will always be a part of that. As you place them on your hand and your head – two of the most important parts of your body – never forget what is in your head (thoughts) and your hand/arm (what you use to work/ and what is in your heart – your feelings). I bless you today – and always – that the words of Shema, Kadesh and Vehaya stay a part of you, ad meah v’esrim and as the Hebrew speakers among us say, tamshich halah… you’re doing a fine job, young man.
My dear Golan,
Today you are 13 and just two weeks away from your barmitzvah. A huge milestone, you are approaching this event the way you do everything else in your life: with excitement, commitment and hard work. Even though at times I have to bug you to practice for your special day, you’ve still expressed tremendous perseverance.
This year has been – like all other years til now – phenomenal with you. We’ve seen you go from pre-teen to teen; and I am happy to report, so far so good. When you got your iPhone we really felt the difference as you chatting with friends late into the night, watched videos and got in touch with your family members. I have to confess that while I was very adamant I didn’t want you getting a phone, you’ve surprised me with this new gadget; I thought for sure I would have had to take it away from you at least a few times as a punishment for over-use or misuse but you’ve been very respectful of the rules mummy and daddy have imposed with this privilege.
A few months ago – just before Pesach – corona hit. While it was so difficult not being with your Ranana family and Saba and Savta, BH we had the warm welcome of our local family – Jo and Jonah. While you were (understandably) initially disappointed, you rose to the challenge and had a fabulous time. In typical you style you didn’t take it for granted and were incredible grateful for their hospitality. As such we asked you to write a card. You expressed your thanks more beautifully than I could have imagined. It was at the 2020 seder that you got your first taste of real wine…making daddy proud by enjoying it! This is something you can continue to appreciate along with the Sass’s; always in moderation.
You’ve just started a new school. While it’s only been a few days (and even that was in question due to a precautionary bidud tale), so far so good. You’ve adapted well and the transition has been smooth.
A couple of weeks ago we took you to learn how to put on your tefillin at one of the holiest places in our incredible country – Maarat Hamachpela. The pride you had that day made mummy beam and the love you and daddy expressed for each other as he passed on this tremendous masura from one generation to the next was possibly one of the most meaningful days in my life. But that was just the start. Now it’s up to you. It reminds me of when papa taught me to drive. I came home having past my test and he said to me:
“now you start to learn to drive.”
“What?” I asked, confused
“This is when the real learning begins,” he explained. “Learning to drive with someone by your side all the time is just the technique. That’s done. Now it’s time to be out there and see how you personally will react to the other cars and the situations that arise.”
He was right. And I’ll tell you this now. While the techniques are passed on from generation to generation and you learn how to put on tefillin, your real journey with this mitzvah begins now. When you become a barmitzvah and you take on Hashem’s laws and you find your own derech within Yahadut, that’s when your learning in every aspect begins.
Golan I have no doubt that you will respond to this mitzvah in the way you do all good things in your life – with gratitude and commitment. May you be zocheh to select one of the many beautiful paths in Yahadut Hashem has to offer and instill it with your spirit.
I love you more and more each day and am so proud to be your mummy.
Today you are 13 and just two weeks away from your barmitzvah. A huge milestone, you are approaching this event the way you do everything else in your life: with excitement, commitment and hard work. Even though at times I have to bug you to practice for your special day, you’ve still expressed tremendous perseverance.
This year has been – like all other years til now – phenomenal with you. We’ve seen you go from pre-teen to teen; and I am happy to report, so far so good. When you got your iPhone we really felt the difference as you chatting with friends late into the night, watched videos and got in touch with your family members. I have to confess that while I was very adamant I didn’t want you getting a phone, you’ve surprised me with this new gadget; I thought for sure I would have had to take it away from you at least a few times as a punishment for over-use or misuse but you’ve been very respectful of the rules mummy and daddy have imposed with this privilege.
A few months ago – just before Pesach – corona hit. While it was so difficult not being with your Ranana family and Saba and Savta, BH we had the warm welcome of our local family – Jo and Jonah. While you were (understandably) initially disappointed, you rose to the challenge and had a fabulous time. In typical you style you didn’t take it for granted and were incredible grateful for their hospitality. As such we asked you to write a card. You expressed your thanks more beautifully than I could have imagined. It was at the 2020 seder that you got your first taste of real wine…making daddy proud by enjoying it! This is something you can continue to appreciate along with the Sass’s; always in moderation.
You’ve just started a new school. While it’s only been a few days (and even that was in question due to a precautionary bidud tale), so far so good. You’ve adapted well and the transition has been smooth.
A couple of weeks ago we took you to learn how to put on your tefillin at one of the holiest places in our incredible country – Maarat Hamachpela. The pride you had that day made mummy beam and the love you and daddy expressed for each other as he passed on this tremendous masura from one generation to the next was possibly one of the most meaningful days in my life. But that was just the start. Now it’s up to you. It reminds me of when papa taught me to drive. I came home having past my test and he said to me:
“now you start to learn to drive.”
“What?” I asked, confused
“This is when the real learning begins,” he explained. “Learning to drive with someone by your side all the time is just the technique. That’s done. Now it’s time to be out there and see how you personally will react to the other cars and the situations that arise.”
He was right. And I’ll tell you this now. While the techniques are passed on from generation to generation and you learn how to put on tefillin, your real journey with this mitzvah begins now. When you become a barmitzvah and you take on Hashem’s laws and you find your own derech within Yahadut, that’s when your learning in every aspect begins.
Golan I have no doubt that you will respond to this mitzvah in the way you do all good things in your life – with gratitude and commitment. May you be zocheh to select one of the many beautiful paths in Yahadut Hashem has to offer and instill it with your spirit.
I love you more and more each day and am so proud to be your mummy.
Golan, you read this morning from your parsha
זְכֹר֙ יְמ֣וֹת עוֹלָ֔ם בִּ֖ינוּ שְׁנ֣וֹת דֹּֽר וָדֹ֑ר שְׁאַ֤ל אָבִ֨יךָ֙ וְיַגֵּ֔דְךָ זְקֵנֶ֖יךָ וְיֹֽאמְרוּ־לָֽךְ
Remember the days of old, consider the years of ages past. Ask your father and he will tell you, your elders and they will speak it to you.
The first question we have to ask is why use two different verbs for telling a story here? What is the difference here between לאמר and להגיד? I think it is that your father tells you something by giving you an instruction. Your elders however – your grandparents for example – say it without any kind of prejudice. They don’t really instruct you to do anything as that is the benefit of being the grandparent. So in a sense you get more of the raw truth as they are more deeply connected to the essence of the past so can more easily tell you the story exactly as it was.
This pasuk is Moshe’s instruction to us to not just live in the here and now but to look to our past so we can more fully appreciate the present. Moshe was such a strong man that even though he knew he wasn’t going to see Eretz Yisrael, that didn’t take away from everything he had done to get him to the present. He did so much work to prepare the people to get to the border to cross into eretz Yisrael and that counts for so much. But still. How strong must he have been to have accepted Hashem’s decree of him not entering after all that hard work? And why was he able to do that? Because of זְכֹר֙ יְמ֣וֹת עוֹלָ֔ם, because of what he had established for the Bnei Yisrael until that point.
Golan, things are so weird now. Everything is wacky! And I know for myself it is so hard to think of anything BUT what is going on right now. And truthfully that’s my yetzer hara. The Torah is coming to tell us – right here in your parsha – that the we and the now is so much more expansive than what we feel like we are experiencing. We – you, me, daddy, Eitan and Gracie – are so much greater than just us. Now – what is happening in this crazy lockdown mode – is so much bigger than just today.
Both of these things are hard to truly accept. But here it is in black and white. We are not just our present, we are also our past. We are grandma, papa, saba and savta. We are America, England, Poland and Germany. We are flat feet and a funny sense of humor. We have such a long history and every single part of that is just as important as what is happening in your life right now with Fortnite, baseball and Rubix Cube as it has created what you are today and where you are at this very moment.
Golan, my bracha to you is that you find the strength in challenging times to hold on to that past, to grab on to it with both hands and to use it to accept the present with the same conviction that Moshe did. You are so blessed to have so many good, strong role models guiding you. All of these have helped mold you into the incredible man you are today and not one part of that is any less vital into the whole that comprises the Golan Moshe Sass we see in front of us today.
Mazal Tov
זְכֹר֙ יְמ֣וֹת עוֹלָ֔ם בִּ֖ינוּ שְׁנ֣וֹת דֹּֽר וָדֹ֑ר שְׁאַ֤ל אָבִ֨יךָ֙ וְיַגֵּ֔דְךָ זְקֵנֶ֖יךָ וְיֹֽאמְרוּ־לָֽךְ
Remember the days of old, consider the years of ages past. Ask your father and he will tell you, your elders and they will speak it to you.
The first question we have to ask is why use two different verbs for telling a story here? What is the difference here between לאמר and להגיד? I think it is that your father tells you something by giving you an instruction. Your elders however – your grandparents for example – say it without any kind of prejudice. They don’t really instruct you to do anything as that is the benefit of being the grandparent. So in a sense you get more of the raw truth as they are more deeply connected to the essence of the past so can more easily tell you the story exactly as it was.
This pasuk is Moshe’s instruction to us to not just live in the here and now but to look to our past so we can more fully appreciate the present. Moshe was such a strong man that even though he knew he wasn’t going to see Eretz Yisrael, that didn’t take away from everything he had done to get him to the present. He did so much work to prepare the people to get to the border to cross into eretz Yisrael and that counts for so much. But still. How strong must he have been to have accepted Hashem’s decree of him not entering after all that hard work? And why was he able to do that? Because of זְכֹר֙ יְמ֣וֹת עוֹלָ֔ם, because of what he had established for the Bnei Yisrael until that point.
Golan, things are so weird now. Everything is wacky! And I know for myself it is so hard to think of anything BUT what is going on right now. And truthfully that’s my yetzer hara. The Torah is coming to tell us – right here in your parsha – that the we and the now is so much more expansive than what we feel like we are experiencing. We – you, me, daddy, Eitan and Gracie – are so much greater than just us. Now – what is happening in this crazy lockdown mode – is so much bigger than just today.
Both of these things are hard to truly accept. But here it is in black and white. We are not just our present, we are also our past. We are grandma, papa, saba and savta. We are America, England, Poland and Germany. We are flat feet and a funny sense of humor. We have such a long history and every single part of that is just as important as what is happening in your life right now with Fortnite, baseball and Rubix Cube as it has created what you are today and where you are at this very moment.
Golan, my bracha to you is that you find the strength in challenging times to hold on to that past, to grab on to it with both hands and to use it to accept the present with the same conviction that Moshe did. You are so blessed to have so many good, strong role models guiding you. All of these have helped mold you into the incredible man you are today and not one part of that is any less vital into the whole that comprises the Golan Moshe Sass we see in front of us today.
Mazal Tov
Today is Shabbat Shuva. While teshuva is traditionally translated as “repentance,” we have come to understand that this is really an opportunity for “returning.” And hey, what’s tradition these days when you’re meant to have your Rav give you the barmitzah address after you’re leining and instead its’ your mummy in her pink sparkly shoes!
What does teshuva really mean and what does that have to do with your barmitzvah? We seek to do teshuva to return to our original state with Hashem. Like, when we are first born we are completely connected to Him without any boundaries; the task now is to get as close to that level as possible.
In the haftara you read so beautifully this morning the focus is on Hoshaya’s return to Hashem. It says:
קְח֚וּ עִמָּכֶם֙ דְּבָרִ֔ים וְשׁ֖וּבוּ אֶל־יְהֹוָ֑ה אִמְר֣וּ אֵלָ֗יו כָּל־תִּשָּׂ֚א עָוֹן֙ וְקַח־ט֔וֹב וּנְשַׁלְּמָ֥ה פָרִ֖ים שְׂפָתֵֽינוּ
Take words with you and return to Hashem and say to him, "You shall forgive all aveirot and accept what is good and let us offer up our lips instead of animals.
(14: 3)
In biblical times sacrificing an animal was seen as the highest level of connection to Hashem. Because people were not allowed to give up their own lives, they used animals but it was as if they were giving up themselves. But after the destruction of the Temple words replaced sacrifices as a way of getting closer to Hashem.
Golan, you know me I’m a word person. That’s how I get close to people. I already see at this young age that you too have the gift of words. So many times when I have been sad you have managed to comfort me by saying exactly the right thing. You always say the right thing to your grandparents; they look forward to your calls and love chatting with you.
One time in camp you made one of your peers feel so good about herself after she was being attacked by words from someone else. She felt so close to you that she got her mom to bring a challah to us that shabbat to thank you. In that way you are mature beyond your years…and especially for a boy. It’s a real gift. You can go very far in life with words and perhaps that’s one of the reasons it was words that are used to get closer to Hashem.
The fascinating thing for me about the Hebrew translation of words is that it is the same for “things.” That’s where daddy comes in. His “devarim” – which nicely envelopes the entire sefer here – is doing. Doing is a very high madreiga of sacrifice.
Your parsha of העזינו means to listen. What greater connection could there be to תשובה than speaking (to Hashem, תפילה), doing (to others through צדקה) and listening (to all those around you). How fitting that you read this today on שבת שובה.
Golan, I’ve seen this so many times with you. You have a natural inclination toward the other and away from the self. Your entire way of being is in tune with the feelings of others and it is helped you form great friendship, earn respect from your teachers and peers and comfort those around you.
I bless you on this day that you continue to develop this trait and that it brings you closer to Hashem as well as help you form relationships with wonderful people throughout your life.
What does teshuva really mean and what does that have to do with your barmitzvah? We seek to do teshuva to return to our original state with Hashem. Like, when we are first born we are completely connected to Him without any boundaries; the task now is to get as close to that level as possible.
In the haftara you read so beautifully this morning the focus is on Hoshaya’s return to Hashem. It says:
קְח֚וּ עִמָּכֶם֙ דְּבָרִ֔ים וְשׁ֖וּבוּ אֶל־יְהֹוָ֑ה אִמְר֣וּ אֵלָ֗יו כָּל־תִּשָּׂ֚א עָוֹן֙ וְקַח־ט֔וֹב וּנְשַׁלְּמָ֥ה פָרִ֖ים שְׂפָתֵֽינוּ
Take words with you and return to Hashem and say to him, "You shall forgive all aveirot and accept what is good and let us offer up our lips instead of animals.
(14: 3)
In biblical times sacrificing an animal was seen as the highest level of connection to Hashem. Because people were not allowed to give up their own lives, they used animals but it was as if they were giving up themselves. But after the destruction of the Temple words replaced sacrifices as a way of getting closer to Hashem.
Golan, you know me I’m a word person. That’s how I get close to people. I already see at this young age that you too have the gift of words. So many times when I have been sad you have managed to comfort me by saying exactly the right thing. You always say the right thing to your grandparents; they look forward to your calls and love chatting with you.
One time in camp you made one of your peers feel so good about herself after she was being attacked by words from someone else. She felt so close to you that she got her mom to bring a challah to us that shabbat to thank you. In that way you are mature beyond your years…and especially for a boy. It’s a real gift. You can go very far in life with words and perhaps that’s one of the reasons it was words that are used to get closer to Hashem.
The fascinating thing for me about the Hebrew translation of words is that it is the same for “things.” That’s where daddy comes in. His “devarim” – which nicely envelopes the entire sefer here – is doing. Doing is a very high madreiga of sacrifice.
Your parsha of העזינו means to listen. What greater connection could there be to תשובה than speaking (to Hashem, תפילה), doing (to others through צדקה) and listening (to all those around you). How fitting that you read this today on שבת שובה.
Golan, I’ve seen this so many times with you. You have a natural inclination toward the other and away from the self. Your entire way of being is in tune with the feelings of others and it is helped you form great friendship, earn respect from your teachers and peers and comfort those around you.
I bless you on this day that you continue to develop this trait and that it brings you closer to Hashem as well as help you form relationships with wonderful people throughout your life.
Golan, in life there are many times when we have very sad things followed by very happy things. Like now. We have Yom Kippur which can be seen as sad and then there is Simchat Torah (Sheila’s interruption: Succos, you mean Succos) which is very happy.
Golan I had yarzheit for my father last night. And now it is your barmitzvah. Your mother was named for him. His name was Meir and her name is Meira. How fitting that something so sad can turn into something so happy. Mazal Tov!
Golan I had yarzheit for my father last night. And now it is your barmitzvah. Your mother was named for him. His name was Meir and her name is Meira. How fitting that something so sad can turn into something so happy. Mazal Tov!
First time Golan wasn't with us one night for Chanukah... We sent this with him and a gift as we weren't going to be with him.
To our dear amazing Golan
Tonight is Chanukah - the second night
Two lights that shine, so very bright
Just like you in our family
We all miss you, including Gracie.
We hope this shabbat is wonderful for you
And that you all make it fun for Assaf too
As he turns from a kid to the first year of teen
At his barmitzvah weekend, during COVID-19.
You bring so much joy to all of us back here
We're thinking of you, and will try not to tear
It's the first time in your life you've not shared the light
With your Sass family on the second night.
We hope you love this present and will think of us a bit
Don't worry if you forgot to, as the candles you did lit
The most important thing is knowing how awesome you are
Even when you're not near and indeed are quite far...
HAPPY CHANUKAH GOLAN
Love, mummy, daddy, eitan and Gracie
To our dear amazing Golan
Tonight is Chanukah - the second night
Two lights that shine, so very bright
Just like you in our family
We all miss you, including Gracie.
We hope this shabbat is wonderful for you
And that you all make it fun for Assaf too
As he turns from a kid to the first year of teen
At his barmitzvah weekend, during COVID-19.
You bring so much joy to all of us back here
We're thinking of you, and will try not to tear
It's the first time in your life you've not shared the light
With your Sass family on the second night.
We hope you love this present and will think of us a bit
Don't worry if you forgot to, as the candles you did lit
The most important thing is knowing how awesome you are
Even when you're not near and indeed are quite far...
HAPPY CHANUKAH GOLAN
Love, mummy, daddy, eitan and Gracie
2nd August, 2021
My dearest Golan
My first born. The guy who made me a mummy, a word I will always love hearing from you and your brother. Tonight you leave on a trip to America to be with Saba and Savta and it’ll be the first time in both our lives that we won’t see each other for more than a week-and-a-half. I think this trip will be so wonderful for you and for that I am so happy and grateful. But it kinda feels like this could be the first of many such trips as I watch you grow into such a fine young man.
It’s fun to watch you go through all these different stages. With the muscle shirts and the chain, as you develop your own personal style. And I love it. But always, always remember that Hashem runs this world and it’s important to know that no matter what, that you are a true בן תורה. Whatever direction you take that will always be a part of you. And you’ve already done that so beautifully in so many parts of your life.
I read – just last week – about this woman facing an incredibly challenging situation. She decided she had two choices. Either to become bitter, mad, angry and not cope. Or to put some אמונה in Hashem, open up to others along the way who could be there for her and try to find any little things in life to smile at. Those ideas I’ve heard before but what I hadn’t heard was when she then said ‘I decided then and there that no matter how bad things got, the first thing I would say on awaking every single morning would be הוֹדוּ לַה' כִּי־טוֹבand that hopefully that would put my mind in that space for at least part of the day that followed.’ It’s great advice and I’m going to try to use it myself. הוֹדוּ לַה' כִּי־טוֹב thank you Hashem for the good.
Golan, this opportunity you have – which, let’s be honest, none of us knew if it would happen or not – is tremendous on so many levels. I want you to just be aware of them as I know that despite your few years you have a great maturity. I think you’ll understand them. But even if you don’t, just read them anyway.
Anyway I’ll end here as I don’t want to go on too much. Just one more thing. No matter what, you remember this: mummy and daddy, Gracie (and yeah even Eitan) love you so so so so much and we can’t wait to see you beH very soon.
Send me pictures and messages all.day.long
Love, as always
Mummy
My dearest Golan
My first born. The guy who made me a mummy, a word I will always love hearing from you and your brother. Tonight you leave on a trip to America to be with Saba and Savta and it’ll be the first time in both our lives that we won’t see each other for more than a week-and-a-half. I think this trip will be so wonderful for you and for that I am so happy and grateful. But it kinda feels like this could be the first of many such trips as I watch you grow into such a fine young man.
It’s fun to watch you go through all these different stages. With the muscle shirts and the chain, as you develop your own personal style. And I love it. But always, always remember that Hashem runs this world and it’s important to know that no matter what, that you are a true בן תורה. Whatever direction you take that will always be a part of you. And you’ve already done that so beautifully in so many parts of your life.
I read – just last week – about this woman facing an incredibly challenging situation. She decided she had two choices. Either to become bitter, mad, angry and not cope. Or to put some אמונה in Hashem, open up to others along the way who could be there for her and try to find any little things in life to smile at. Those ideas I’ve heard before but what I hadn’t heard was when she then said ‘I decided then and there that no matter how bad things got, the first thing I would say on awaking every single morning would be הוֹדוּ לַה' כִּי־טוֹבand that hopefully that would put my mind in that space for at least part of the day that followed.’ It’s great advice and I’m going to try to use it myself. הוֹדוּ לַה' כִּי־טוֹב thank you Hashem for the good.
Golan, this opportunity you have – which, let’s be honest, none of us knew if it would happen or not – is tremendous on so many levels. I want you to just be aware of them as I know that despite your few years you have a great maturity. I think you’ll understand them. But even if you don’t, just read them anyway.
- Spending time in LA – it’s a pretty cool place
- The gorgeous pool and yes, okay the gym!
- Being one-on-one with Sarit, your first cousin; you guys don’t get to do that a lot
- Being with Saba and Savta who at 80+ are such an inspiration. Watch them. Talk to them. Enjoy them. Ask them questions. Find out about their lives. Be with them. Laugh with them. The phone will always be there for you. Don’t waste this precious time.
- Going away on your trip and being just you, Saba and Savta for 5 whole days. I never had such an opportunity with my grandparents and neither did daddy. I can’t say more than that as you know!
- Hopefully seeing the other Californian cousins
- Spending time in shul (maybe?) with Saba. Or at least putting tefillin on with him. Try to really bewith them both as much as you can.
- Shopping!
Anyway I’ll end here as I don’t want to go on too much. Just one more thing. No matter what, you remember this: mummy and daddy, Gracie (and yeah even Eitan) love you so so so so much and we can’t wait to see you beH very soon.
Send me pictures and messages all.day.long
Love, as always
Mummy
My dear Golan
It is so crazy that you are already 14 and probably even crazier that you have not become an annoying teenager. You continue to astound me with your kindness, intelligence and drive. This year has not been easy thanks to corona and no school but you have shown tremendous resilience and have grown in your determination to become an even better version of yourself.
These last few months though I found comfort in the world being turned on its head…because of you. I really enjoyed taking long walks with you and Gracie and playing air hockey. I loved chatting to you about the everyday stuff and I gained so much from just being with you; I often even felt like I was talking to a friend. You are very mature (sometimes!) and fun to be around.
This year you have really dedicated yourself to working out… and have done a remarkable job of it. You’ve gotten stronger and stronger and you’ve used that for good, helping me carry bags of shopping and doing so much on our trip with all our luggage. The fact that you also offer to help others with taking the garbage out and just offering your assistance also testifies to the true mentsch you’ve always been and continue to be.
When you speak to the grandparents, daddy and I get a lot of nachas. You always have respect, talk at their level and show a genuine interest in what they have to say. Likewise you treat your friends well and this year you have really blossomed in your relationships with people in your shichva. I love that the house is full on shabbatot with so many of your peers who by the way are also very nice, which is a reflection on you as a good person.
You continue to show Gracie love and she feels it. I know that she loves being a part of our family and a lot of that is due to you.
When you went on your barmitzvah trip with saba and savta, it was the longest time I’d ever been apart from you. I missed you a lot. You’re not that great on the phone (okay, let’s be honest, you’re pretty darn awful on the phone – except to the grandparents) and it felt like forever that I didn’t see you. I was so grateful and happy though that you had such an incredible time with saba and savta and you look super cool as a surfer.
My dear, precious, astonishing Golan, make sure you continue working well at school, speak kindly to everyone you meet in all you do and make time for your friends and family. In fact – even though it often won’t seem like it – some of these things are even more important than your phone and your air pods! But since you’re 14 I’ll cut you some slack on that and just tell you that I am proud of the caring, kind and wonderful young man you are becoming and am so happy that I have the continued zechut of being your mummy.
Much love
It is so crazy that you are already 14 and probably even crazier that you have not become an annoying teenager. You continue to astound me with your kindness, intelligence and drive. This year has not been easy thanks to corona and no school but you have shown tremendous resilience and have grown in your determination to become an even better version of yourself.
These last few months though I found comfort in the world being turned on its head…because of you. I really enjoyed taking long walks with you and Gracie and playing air hockey. I loved chatting to you about the everyday stuff and I gained so much from just being with you; I often even felt like I was talking to a friend. You are very mature (sometimes!) and fun to be around.
This year you have really dedicated yourself to working out… and have done a remarkable job of it. You’ve gotten stronger and stronger and you’ve used that for good, helping me carry bags of shopping and doing so much on our trip with all our luggage. The fact that you also offer to help others with taking the garbage out and just offering your assistance also testifies to the true mentsch you’ve always been and continue to be.
When you speak to the grandparents, daddy and I get a lot of nachas. You always have respect, talk at their level and show a genuine interest in what they have to say. Likewise you treat your friends well and this year you have really blossomed in your relationships with people in your shichva. I love that the house is full on shabbatot with so many of your peers who by the way are also very nice, which is a reflection on you as a good person.
You continue to show Gracie love and she feels it. I know that she loves being a part of our family and a lot of that is due to you.
When you went on your barmitzvah trip with saba and savta, it was the longest time I’d ever been apart from you. I missed you a lot. You’re not that great on the phone (okay, let’s be honest, you’re pretty darn awful on the phone – except to the grandparents) and it felt like forever that I didn’t see you. I was so grateful and happy though that you had such an incredible time with saba and savta and you look super cool as a surfer.
My dear, precious, astonishing Golan, make sure you continue working well at school, speak kindly to everyone you meet in all you do and make time for your friends and family. In fact – even though it often won’t seem like it – some of these things are even more important than your phone and your air pods! But since you’re 14 I’ll cut you some slack on that and just tell you that I am proud of the caring, kind and wonderful young man you are becoming and am so happy that I have the continued zechut of being your mummy.
Much love
My dear Golan
15 Today. Where on earth do I begin? Being such a word person my annual bracha to you should come naturally to me but this year I’m simply lost for words. It’s been 15 years since you made me into a mummy and from that very first day I was smitten. Over the years – but perhaps especially this year – you’ve continued to astound me.
We just got home from being in Cyprus for our 5 day-ditch-the-first-week-of-school-vacation. While we had a true blast and enjoyed the pool, running around with daddy’s crazy and amazing antics, touring the country and swimming in the Blue Lagoon, as you know it was a little stressful at times for me. You though – in your classic Golan style of trying to help – were an amazing source of comfort and strength. When I started to express my upset and that landed on daddy, you – rightly so – put me in my place.
While we keep telling you that you don’t have to be the adult – and you really shouldn’t – you’re shockingly really good at it and well above your biological age…especially for a boy. You’re smart, kind, insightful, thoughtful and caring, all the while, learning to deal with your own life stresses. At the same time, I am thrilled that you still seem able to be incredibly silly and babyish. Don’t ever lose ANY of these character traits; they’re all what make you, you.
Golan, none of us are angels or perfect and Hashem doesn’t expect us to be like that. He just wants us to live in this world and be the best versions of ourselves. And that’s something you’re really doing by living a combination of true smarts but knowing how to be youthful and fun.
I’ve been very impressed over the last few years at your determination at the gym. So many people a lot older than you have great intentions when it comes to getting fit. They start a workout regime but within a few months or even less, give up. Then they start again and the same thing happens and so the cycle continues. You on the other hand, have shown immense determination and a self-discipline that can be really hard to muster for even the most mature adults. I’m proud of you.
I’m also proud of how you haven’t gone crazy at the gym. You know when you’ve had too much and you take a break. That balance can often take years to achieve but you’ve already done it which is yet another sign of your incredible maturity. You’ve also shown that you could be a really good teacher by how you’ve coached your friends (and me!) on how to get into the groove of working out. And you do it nicely without making anyone feel inadequate.
When papa passed away 7 months ago you were there at my side. And ever since that day, when you go to the school bus and see me running, you stop and give me a morning hug. It’s beyond special.
While I wasn’t happy with you traveling around the country on your own I know it’s important to let you grow up. Because we all know that if I had my way you’d stay home for the rest of your life, wife, kids and grandkids in tow. Despite my misgivings and the fact that you nearly gave me a heart attack when you ended up in Kiryat Malachi past midnight, you were really great about keeping in touch with me; thank you for that.
You continue to be sweet with Eitan and Gracie and now you’re at an age where daddy seems to be able to enjoy you ‘man to man’ on some levels. I know that we may be slightly older parents but there surely is no cooler father than daddy and I see how proud you are of him.
I think at this point in your life if I could give you one piece of advice it would be to never lose that desire to have fun, stay committed and work hard enough so that you can achieve your dreams…balance is key. As they say, work hard and play hard! I love you to the moon and back.
15 Today. Where on earth do I begin? Being such a word person my annual bracha to you should come naturally to me but this year I’m simply lost for words. It’s been 15 years since you made me into a mummy and from that very first day I was smitten. Over the years – but perhaps especially this year – you’ve continued to astound me.
We just got home from being in Cyprus for our 5 day-ditch-the-first-week-of-school-vacation. While we had a true blast and enjoyed the pool, running around with daddy’s crazy and amazing antics, touring the country and swimming in the Blue Lagoon, as you know it was a little stressful at times for me. You though – in your classic Golan style of trying to help – were an amazing source of comfort and strength. When I started to express my upset and that landed on daddy, you – rightly so – put me in my place.
While we keep telling you that you don’t have to be the adult – and you really shouldn’t – you’re shockingly really good at it and well above your biological age…especially for a boy. You’re smart, kind, insightful, thoughtful and caring, all the while, learning to deal with your own life stresses. At the same time, I am thrilled that you still seem able to be incredibly silly and babyish. Don’t ever lose ANY of these character traits; they’re all what make you, you.
Golan, none of us are angels or perfect and Hashem doesn’t expect us to be like that. He just wants us to live in this world and be the best versions of ourselves. And that’s something you’re really doing by living a combination of true smarts but knowing how to be youthful and fun.
I’ve been very impressed over the last few years at your determination at the gym. So many people a lot older than you have great intentions when it comes to getting fit. They start a workout regime but within a few months or even less, give up. Then they start again and the same thing happens and so the cycle continues. You on the other hand, have shown immense determination and a self-discipline that can be really hard to muster for even the most mature adults. I’m proud of you.
I’m also proud of how you haven’t gone crazy at the gym. You know when you’ve had too much and you take a break. That balance can often take years to achieve but you’ve already done it which is yet another sign of your incredible maturity. You’ve also shown that you could be a really good teacher by how you’ve coached your friends (and me!) on how to get into the groove of working out. And you do it nicely without making anyone feel inadequate.
When papa passed away 7 months ago you were there at my side. And ever since that day, when you go to the school bus and see me running, you stop and give me a morning hug. It’s beyond special.
While I wasn’t happy with you traveling around the country on your own I know it’s important to let you grow up. Because we all know that if I had my way you’d stay home for the rest of your life, wife, kids and grandkids in tow. Despite my misgivings and the fact that you nearly gave me a heart attack when you ended up in Kiryat Malachi past midnight, you were really great about keeping in touch with me; thank you for that.
You continue to be sweet with Eitan and Gracie and now you’re at an age where daddy seems to be able to enjoy you ‘man to man’ on some levels. I know that we may be slightly older parents but there surely is no cooler father than daddy and I see how proud you are of him.
I think at this point in your life if I could give you one piece of advice it would be to never lose that desire to have fun, stay committed and work hard enough so that you can achieve your dreams…balance is key. As they say, work hard and play hard! I love you to the moon and back.
Wow Golan I can’t believe you are already 16. That’s just crazy! Legally allowed to drive in some states and recognized as an adult in various places too. The adult part makes sense to me more though as you’ve always been mature for your years and these past 12 months that trend remains even truer.
It seems like since Pesach your maturity has escalated even higher. From traveling all the way to Rechovot by bus on your own, your first girlfriend to your first trip abroad and being employed as a Madrich at a camp in America where you thrived and were admired by many.
Throughout your life we’ve received messages from parents, teachers and other adults with whom you engage about how well rounded, mature, kind and helpful you are. But this year it felt like we got even more than usual. So much so that I have to include some of them here.
First, the camp Director, Ben Fried wrote to daddy saying:
“I wanted to share with your that everyone in camp is RAVING about Golan. In fact-he was made a color war captain. He is fantastic.”
Apparently being made a color war captain in one’s first year of camp is unheard of. Added to that fact was that your team won!
Then there was the lady who took you to the Mets game. When I wrote to thank her for what she did for you she responded with the following message:
“As the mom of three girls, 16, 13, 10, I hope you take this the right way – You are doing a great job raising him. He is polite, able to advocate for himself, independent, respectful and friendly.”
We also had a message from your first host in New Jersey. She was equally impressed and wrote a few times with various positive things to say about you. Here are some of the phrases she used:
“adorable and polite…your son is just like the sweetest, coolest, most self-confident (but not in a yucky ego way) kid!! He seems just so comfortable in his own skin and is NICE! Kol hakavod to you guys.”
This is just a sampling but you should know that these words are every parents’ dream. When we are told we must be doing a fantastic job with you I firmly believe it is in Hashem’s hands as well as your own. You do indeed have a very endearing way about you that magnetizes people to you and will I believe (and pray) lead to your success and happiness in life in the future.
Golan, daddy and I have also been incredibly impressed with your determination at school this year. You’ve chosen two of the hardest Majors (Physics and Tech) and have gone up a yechida in Math. It doesn’t necessarily come easy to you but you put in the work and Baruch Hashem have seen the results. Talking of which I just got this message from your English teacher:
“You should be so proud of Golan. He has worked hard to get where he is emotionally, academically and socially. He is on top of everything!!!!”
That from the teacher who a couple of years ago thought you were struggling to focus in class. Which you might have been to a certain extent but you fought against that and thrived. This was also apparent in the video you made at the end of last year’s first Machatzit at school when you didn’t get the Mitztayen award – determined to get the next one (which you did). This again proves your dedication and commitment to your future success.
Golan, daddy and mummy have always been so very proud of you but I think what continues to impress us most is your desire to follow the right path, do the right thing, mix with the right people and follow in the footsteps of your Jewish, religious and Zionistic heritage.
I bless you with good fortune, happiness, sweetness, health and success for your 17th year.
Love, mummy.
It seems like since Pesach your maturity has escalated even higher. From traveling all the way to Rechovot by bus on your own, your first girlfriend to your first trip abroad and being employed as a Madrich at a camp in America where you thrived and were admired by many.
Throughout your life we’ve received messages from parents, teachers and other adults with whom you engage about how well rounded, mature, kind and helpful you are. But this year it felt like we got even more than usual. So much so that I have to include some of them here.
First, the camp Director, Ben Fried wrote to daddy saying:
“I wanted to share with your that everyone in camp is RAVING about Golan. In fact-he was made a color war captain. He is fantastic.”
Apparently being made a color war captain in one’s first year of camp is unheard of. Added to that fact was that your team won!
Then there was the lady who took you to the Mets game. When I wrote to thank her for what she did for you she responded with the following message:
“As the mom of three girls, 16, 13, 10, I hope you take this the right way – You are doing a great job raising him. He is polite, able to advocate for himself, independent, respectful and friendly.”
We also had a message from your first host in New Jersey. She was equally impressed and wrote a few times with various positive things to say about you. Here are some of the phrases she used:
“adorable and polite…your son is just like the sweetest, coolest, most self-confident (but not in a yucky ego way) kid!! He seems just so comfortable in his own skin and is NICE! Kol hakavod to you guys.”
This is just a sampling but you should know that these words are every parents’ dream. When we are told we must be doing a fantastic job with you I firmly believe it is in Hashem’s hands as well as your own. You do indeed have a very endearing way about you that magnetizes people to you and will I believe (and pray) lead to your success and happiness in life in the future.
Golan, daddy and I have also been incredibly impressed with your determination at school this year. You’ve chosen two of the hardest Majors (Physics and Tech) and have gone up a yechida in Math. It doesn’t necessarily come easy to you but you put in the work and Baruch Hashem have seen the results. Talking of which I just got this message from your English teacher:
“You should be so proud of Golan. He has worked hard to get where he is emotionally, academically and socially. He is on top of everything!!!!”
That from the teacher who a couple of years ago thought you were struggling to focus in class. Which you might have been to a certain extent but you fought against that and thrived. This was also apparent in the video you made at the end of last year’s first Machatzit at school when you didn’t get the Mitztayen award – determined to get the next one (which you did). This again proves your dedication and commitment to your future success.
Golan, daddy and mummy have always been so very proud of you but I think what continues to impress us most is your desire to follow the right path, do the right thing, mix with the right people and follow in the footsteps of your Jewish, religious and Zionistic heritage.
I bless you with good fortune, happiness, sweetness, health and success for your 17th year.
Love, mummy.